Generation Not

September 11, 2011

2011-09-14T07:12:00.004-04:00

Its been ten years since the most memorable event of my lifetime occurred. The story for the last ten years has been the tragedy and the loss of life. There has also been the emphasis on the heroism of those first responders who went plunging in despite all the signs to the contrary. I think these two should be the prevailing memories of 9-11. However, its funny how this country and the culture has evolved since that day. The politics of 2001 seemed to be so strong. This patriotism that motivated us into a war is now replaced by patriotism that is confused by economics. 9-11 was the one event that evolved into a non-partisan philosophy in this country. There were different degrees of anger but it was almost universal that some kind of response would be required, specifically a violent response (again in different grades). The one thing that has become apparent since that day, is that it is one of those things that will be talked about 100 years from now. Just like Pearl Harbor is something that everyone learns about in school, my kids will one day spend a day in class learning about what happened that day and everything that occurred afterwards.

But something happened in 2008, thirty years of economic terrorism by certain investment banks, fueled by the greed of this country to own everything, created one of the biggest economic downturns in the history of the world. I won't go into details, that everyone knows, of the subprime bomb that exploded in late 2007 and 2008. It was thirty in the years in making stemming from changes in the investment banking industry. Throw in the internet the rapid spread of information and the subprime boom was the equivalent of a legal ponzi scheme on steroids. With all the public outrage over Bernie Madoff, no one seems to have had the same anger towards Goldman Sachs and the other investment banks who cheated the world (not just this country) by operating under the pretense of being money managers and a bank, but in reality they were just operating for their own bottom line. The customers' profit margin and the people in those subprime markets were just tools in their trade to make their own balance sheets look better.

Now I can never say what those terrorists did on those planes in 2001 was right. And there is no caveat to that but in the grand scheme of history what will be deemed worse for this country? These banks and the subprime market wrecked the global economy. Within the boundaries of this country they costs hundreds of thousands of people their jobs, their homes and their future. We are still trying to figure out how to regulate it so that it can't happen again. Ultimately its hard to argue with murder and especially mass murder. I see those videos and tv specials where they show the families who lost their love ones and the pain in their eyes that exists even ten years later. The magnitude of 9-11 is difficult to understand even now because it was such a senseless tragedy and loss of life that came from that day and the subsequent wars that were fought in the name of 9-11 cannot be measured against financial disasters. So in the end those guys from Goldman and AIG who played fast and loose can sleep easy that they weren't as bad those monsters.

But I think we can refer to them in a new way -- social terrorists. They were social terrorists in that the financial disaster they created has had far reaching effects on the social structure of this country and the world. These events may have accelerated China's rise to becoming the preeminent economic power in the world. It has created this arbitrary partisan politics that politicians have used to confuse the public with economic policies that probably will have no impact on the economy, except to cause panic in the markets. In the end they are guilty of terrible crimes that will most likely have longer and greater impacts in history then 9-11 will because their crimes and the devastation left behind will impact a couple of generations.

The only thing you can say is that God will ultimately judge and punish the terrorists responsible for 9-11. I just hope history will be judge these parasites from Wall Street.

Poetry

2011-08-10T14:13:00.001-04:00

I enjoy Jonah Keri and I recently read his book about the Tampa Bay Rays and their new management team that brought Wall Street arbitrage techniques to baseball. The book was a great read and I flew right through it. Now I read this article and it reminds me of the problem with some of these sabermetric oriented baseball writers. Baseball is very approachable for a lot of fans to analyze because it has so many numbers that can be objectively analyzed and talented writers can take those numbers and objective analysis and provide fans with a brand new insight into a player and team's performance.

However, the numbers in baseball arise from the historical nature of baseball. Unlike most other professional sports in this Country, baseball has been a part of the fabric of the culture of this Country. I know it sounds cliche but its true. Yes football and basketball (and hockey to an extent) have a big place. But professional baseball has existed for more than 100 years and its been mainstream for essentially that amount of time. There is a poetry to be a baseball writer. Sometimes its about the humanity of the sport and the players behind it because sometimes we spend twenty years with these players.

When it comes to Derek Jeter, its been 17 years. And people forget that he signified a major shift for a group of Yankees fans that didn't have much to be proud about for the previous fifteen years. Its funny how the internet has changed baseball and the media relationship to it. No other sport has benefitted as much as baseball on the advent of blogs. It is the perfect sport for blogging because there is essentially daily content for seven months out of the year. Not to mention the off season where there is so much speculation about trades and free agents.

The other part of the change is how quickly the popularity of sabermetrics. Its amazing how quickly it was gobbled up by the people my age. I read the book Money Ball and even I was fascinated. I started reading more of Rob Neyer and Bill James, and I appreciated everything they were saying. The point of the sabermetric movement and Michael Lewis' book was with respect to people within the industry understanding how important these types of analysis would be to teams and those who were trying to predict and form opinions on either the players they were scouting, signing free agents or writers who were covering the sport. And it was true, there was this valuable resource that had been around for 20 years and no one in the mainstream media or the industry had really exploited it.

The one thing that got lost in all of it was that its a game and some of this IS supposed to be fun The concept of being traditional baseball fans and these new sabermetric fans became a black and white argument. There was nothing in the middle, you were either a sabermetric fan or an "old school fan" (for lack of a better description). It was a one sided fight, the numbers guys were all younger, technologically advanced and they were dealing with objective arguments grounded in statistical analysis. The problem was one of the things that attracted to me baseball was the history of the sport and specifically the romanticism of how people wrote about it.

The history of baseball and the fact that even the 1920's people were documenting (in detail) everything that was going on with the sport. The stars of the game were mythologized. A guy like Jackie Robinson had major cultural impact because of the presence the game had on this country. There is something fun about reading a book like "The Kid from Tomkinsville" when I was growing up because it wasn't about the statistical analysis. It was just about the game and how it "felt" to play the game. What gets lost in the numbers (and those that write about it) is the fact that we have all played baseball, so while we can't transpose ourselves as major leaguers, what we can do is think about that time in little league when we connected for our first big hit. The feeling as the ball met the bat and the slight pause to watch the ball sail past the outfielders.

Those feelings and the fun around a game is what gets lost in all of these numbers. Yes its fun to understand something but its also fun to just enjoy something. And no matter what anybody says, there is something subjectively appealing to watching baseball. Derek Jeter, for a Yankee fan, has this subjective appeal. He is built into these tremendous memories. Just like the guys who immortalized Mickey Mantle, Derek Jeter gets the mythology because he did so many things right AND he was a little lucky. I just wish some of these talented writers who focus on the numbers of the game would take the time to actual enjoy the game and let that show in their writing.

In the end the numbers won't matter as much as the memories. Joe D's 56 game hitting streak wasn't about the number, it was about the the man and the mythology that went along with it. Derek Jeter has had a harsh reaction because the numbers don't match up to the myth. I think time will change that and while those numbers people will never go away There will be a time when he is up in Cooperstown ready to make a speech and I will be there remembering the 300th hit, the dive into the stands, the play, the home run and all the other things that make Derek Jeter transcend beyond the numbers.

Creativity

2011-06-26T09:44:00.001-04:00

I sat down tonight with my nieces and nephews to watch some television. They had been watching this cartoon that was typical for this day in age. Very Blues Clues/Dora the Explorer where the characters were very interactive with the viewer. The kids were transfixed by it. There was a break in the action for them to eat cookies. I started searching for a movie to put on for them. The youngest one asked to see Mickey Mouse, which was quickly rejected by the older two. I started looking for kid movies, trying to find something to help my parents get them asleep. As I was scrolling through the choices, I came upon Fantasia 2000. The presence of Mickey Mouse in the movie and my desire to satisfy the youngest (who I have some simpatico with) made me elect to purchase the movie.

As the movie started it became painfully apparent to the older two that the movie had no dialogue. They were initially horrified. They couldn't even comprehend the concept. Then they started watching and listening. I kept pointing out to them that needed to listen to the music and let their imaginations create the story, rather than have someone explain it to them. The youngest was clearly amazed by it. The other two struggled with it. The mechanics of their typical television watching were all because they are just have become accustomed to simply understanding things, as opposed to creating things. I know all these new shoes have demonstrated helping kids learn but I feel as though there is no imagination left in any of them. All they do is spoon feed things to kids because the producers have discovered the best ways to keep kids entranced. And I do think we are moving further and further away from creativity. And at a minimum people are less appreciative of beauty because we are almost moving too close to that scientific, empirical way of thinking where we constantly need an explanation.

Perhaps its the circle I run in now that is making me feel like creativity and the artistic side of life is slipping away, especially in New York. I am surrounded by people who are essentially fascinated by money and success (the two being very closely related). Its the least "bohemian" world you can actually live in because people have one measure- "wealth". Quality of life and happiness are secondary because the moment you accumulate wealth. You must necessarily be happy. As time progresses I realize money is important but in reality, the volume of work I do is unsustainable if I ever want to be happy, no matter how much money I make. And the goal of lots of money seems to be the wrong goal because these people that accumulate enormous wealth usually do so by doing something they love and money is secondary. It seems like it doesn't take that much to be happy, unless you are consumed by having everything.

I think I would prefer to do something more creative. Even if it involves running a business because at least then I am creating something. I envy those who are writers and actually make a living at it. It is a remarkable thing and must be so satisfying when you actually get to write about something that you love. I know I am probably speaking about a negligible portion of the world but I would give anything to be in that world. A successful bohemian artist, whether it be a writer, a painter, a photographer or anyone of those many things that are not as cold as my profession. Perhaps this is why I am so fascinated with Williamsburg and the people who call certain parts of Brooklyn home. In this world where money seems to dictate so much, they made a world in this run down, industrial area that is so much more authentic than half the places in Manhattan now.

Grantland

2011-06-21T21:31:00.001-04:00

Sports and Pop Culture from Bill Simmons and our rotating cast of writers - Grantland

The link above is for the website that was recently launched by ESPN and Bill Simmons. I am admittedly a Simmons fan. I do not think he is some brilliant sage or "mythological figure" but I do enjoy his point of views and specifically his writing style. I also appreciate his taste in some things. For example listening to his podcast I started reading Chuck Klosterman, who happens to be a writer for Grantland, and I really enjoyed his book Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs.

The new website is excellent. It is something completely different in that in brings young (and some what middled aged) writers to one forum where they discuss pop culture, music and sports. The articles are original and well written. Its become a fun place for me to go to just read. There is no shock element, no videos, no graphs, no comments, but just solid writing. I would be happy if it didn't evolve from here even though it is likely that it will.

I have noticed that Deadspin has been heavily critical. I have to be honest, I never thought of Deadspin as a competitor. I know it has some talented writers but for the most part they are on top of current events, they stay within the realm of sports and they are extremely blue. Its something that I will check out but it is completely distinct from Grantland.

Recently Grantland was criticized for sportswriters writing more about themselves and sportswriting rather than the sport itself. I don't think this is a cryptic motive of Simmons and Grantland. He has had plenty of podcasts guests on and he always discusses writing and the methods used by different guys. I find that fascinating and while I am not a writer (and I am a sports fan), I do appreciate the artform. And whether its a sportswriter or a blogger, people have a method to what they do. Not everything a writer produces will leave this incredible impact or be the next Catcher in the Rye. However, I think the goal is to leave some kind of an impact, whether its thoughtful, funny or just sparks a conversation. I would have thought the people at Deadspin would appreciate that but it seems like they are attacking Simmons and the site for the sake of attacking it.

And its not just Deadspin. I see this attitude from bloggers. I don't get it, I would think bloggers would respect someone like Simmons and the people writing for Grantland making this move solely in an electronic form. This is a testament to the changing times and something that blogs have given rise to. You can get your message out and have the challenge to produce better content on a more regular basis, which only benefits the readers. ESPN has really filtered down the quality of its content, I haven't read the magazine in a while but for the most part it was terrible. The writing was glib and very vanilla with no real substance. The website had a bunch of talented writer but the features have been trimmed where you get half the content. What you do get is little videos above breaking down what was written below.

Grantland is the complete opposite. Its a website dedicated to writing. I like that and to be honest its a bit of a turnoff that Deadspin is taking these extreme steps to attack it. Its something new and different from ESPN, which is as corporate as it gets. Instead of attacking it, why not encourage the leap they have taken and the actual quality of the content.

Marriage

2011-06-10T07:15:00.000-04:00

I never really contemplated the difficulties of marriage and the severity until I was actually in a long term relationship. Now that I have been out of it for almost as long as I was in one, I have been able to look at it somewhat objectively (all be it emotionally removed) when speaking to my friends who are just getting married now, friends that have been married for a little while and people who have full fledged families. There are very few people in this world who are completely happy with their significant other. Its often rare to find two people who have equal feelings for each other at the same time. I have never had an issue with monogamy. If I am involved with someone, I never have an issue staying committed to that person. Some people legitimately have an issue with this. I know people who are pathological in cheating on their significant others, which leads me to believe that for some fidelity is a genetic thing.

I just can't comprehend what it would be like to be with someone long enough to procreate and then at a certain stage when the kids are still small, these people get divorced. I don't know, maybe its old fashioned, but I always thought when you have kids you are sacrificing a piece of yourself to a certain extent. And I don't care what anyone says, these divorces or infidelities are about immaturity and selfishness.

Justified

2011-05-11T06:50:00.002-04:00

I have to say that I have become somewhat of a cynic as I have gotten older so there are few "breaking news stories" that really capture my attention. The killing of Osama Bin Laden was one of those events that even I couldn't deny my fascination with. I really want to know every possible detail from the political decision making, to the actual plan of attack, how he was killed, to how his body was disposed of and all of the follow up that occurs.

Its funny that something like this, which is a bipartisan issue, could become such a polarizing issue for politics. 9-11 was one of those events when you stopped thinking about political parties. It was a national tragedy that blurred the lines of politics because there wasn't a gray area. Specifically, people were supportive of George Bush and hopeful that he would rise to the occasion. Rudy Giuliani had a renaissance because everyone was looking for leadership so all of his past issues and politics were forgotten.

I would have assumed that the killing by our military of the man who was responsible for that day would again blur those political lines. People would be happy and to a greater extent be very proud of what Obama did. On the contrary, I saw plenty of staunch conservatives, both in the media and privately, display some kind of disappointment that he was able to do this because they felt as thought this would get him reelected in a year. Its absolutely stunning the immense racism that is still going on in this country. This guy was elected because he won a brilliant campaign. He has done some good things (health care law reforms) and some bad things (not ending the various wars). The economy has stabilized and for the most part he deserves another four years. But people will say whatever they need to say to make sure he doesn't get reelected...even when he kills the most hated man in this country and he does it in such a perfect manner.

Worlds Collide

2011-04-21T07:27:00.000-04:00

As I get older I am starting to realize that this Hollywood concept of an elite wealthy class in New York actually exists. There are a bunch of people who are extremely wealthy (mostly coming from generations worth of money) who actually look down upon those with less. And I'm not talking about the Charles Dickens Oliver Twist/Great Expectations concept. I am talking about people who have "fuck you money" versus people who just make a pretty good living and are comfortable. Its amazing to me that in this day in age anyone could believe they are somehow better because they came from money. I understand that they have been exposed to many different things, including better things, better education, traveling and greater cultural exposure but in the end I genuinely believe that these people lose something by having that kind of upbringing. Of course I am stereotyping but in general these kids are soft and sheltered. In the end someone who is middle class or poor can end up with a lot of money and therefore get exposed to all those things. But no matter what the rich kid does he can never get the experience that someone who is poor or middle class has growing up. And that being said, there is a lot character building when you have to fight for something, when you actually work hard for something and when you know there is no safety net. The reality is that even the most successful "rich kid" (someone who has come from money) probably could not have made it if we had one of those swap outs at age 16. The rich kid could never have made it in the poor kid's environment, however, most poor kids would flourish in the rich kid's world.

Beating a Dead Horse- Wall Street

2011-04-03T12:20:00.001-04:00

They are killing Manhattan. And when I say they I mean the douche bags from Wall Street and wherever else that nought their way to coolness. And in the path of destruction they leave behind, they make Manhattan and New York less and less cool every time they swipe those credit cards. A friend of mine went to a birthday party at a popular NYC lounge with a group of friends and they must have spent $50K on the evening. Fifty thousand dollars, just imagine that. One evening of drinking costing $50K. Thats an annual salary for some people. I thought it might have ended three years ago when the economy went bust but they haven't learned anything. Now they are just profiting on a new scam or they went back to what they always knew would work-

Conflict in the Middle East = Rising Oil Prices

Why do the oil prices go up? Because commodities brokers who deal in futures help artificially elevate that price just on the basis that they think the prices will go up because there is diminished supply. The funny part is one day someone is going to realize that there are a ton of alternative energy sources and thats when the real will blow up will happen. Someone out there one day will have enough money and enough guts to make oil obsolete.

I thought Obama would be the type of guy who curbed Wall Street, in the end he just ended up doing the same exact thing they have always done. Let the banks dictate everything and punishing publicly traded companies by over-regulating them. In reality all they did was make more money for lawyers and accountants and made it harder for these Company to operate. In the next ten years offering your stock publicly is going to become antiquated and too expensive. The reality is that publicly traded companies have very little to do with the embarrassment of wealth and greed that exists downtown. They are just some of the small pieces on the board for JP Morgan and Goldman Sachs.

The bottom line is that these banks have attempted to create a system where they make money regardless of anything- i.e.- a tsunami hits in Japan and devastates a country- yes certain insurance took losses but I guaranty you that there is a large silent contingent down on Wall Street that poured some champagne when it happened because they'll make a fortune on something related to this disaster. Same thing goes for the guys who bet on oil to go up and they celebrated when all of these revolutions popped up in the Middle East.

All the bonuses are back and the obnoxious spending has returned because they figured out a way to delete all of those losses on their balance sheets. The funny part is, the American tax payer probably paid to help delete those losses. And yet here we are again, the economy is quickly improving but its improving for the people who helped wreck it in the first place. And now these guys are even greedier than before because they are not going to finance things like alternative energy. They will bury it for the next fifty years so that this world will deteriorate an even higher level than before.

In the end its all of our fault. I am a hypocrite to because right not I am looking to go work for investment bank or a private equity fund. We help fuel this fire by being envious of all the money. Money rules so much and most of the time we don't know why. I mean lets be honest, no one needs eight houses, no one needs five cars, no one needs to have a $400 dinner. But we do it anyway given the opportunity. And then we have the guys who open the restaurants or the clubs that solicit and welcome those douche bags that drop $50k in a night. Then you have more clubs and restaurants doing the same thing, and why? Because its profitable and its the best way to stay in business. You can't blame them. That club made a lot more money last night than the bar I went to and ran up $100 tab in beers and shots.

It is sad because there is no soul left out there. The only recent cultural phenomenon that isn't motivated by commercial desires is Twitter. But now Twitter has become one quick way to advertise something. It was originally conceived as a social medium and I guess it still is but now all they have is a bunch of people trying to make a name for themselves or selling some shitty product. And why? Because Twitter has been funded by Venture Capital firms who need to get a return on their investment. So over time Twitter will lose its soul too if it hasn't already.

I don't think will ever get back to the point we were at in the sixties, when there were people doing things because they were right, not because whatever it was made them money. I am not even sure its possible even if we tried because everything just costs too much money. I'm not campaigning to bring it back because I am in that same paper chase too. I guess I am just writing the obituary of large scale altruism in the United States.

My Plan for the Future of NYC Night Life

2011-03-16T07:48:00.000-04:00

Whether this ever becomes a reality I am ready to put out how I think NYC night life should change. Things are pretty cyclical or at least subject to change, so I believe the day is coming when these lounges and bottle service will go out of style. Now the change may not happen for a while because it is so profitable for these bar/club owners to do it that way but I think one brave person will make the change or move away from it and the others will follow. At least I hope it does. I would think even investment bankers are going to realize that they shouldn't have to spend $2,000 in order to have a night out. So here is my concept on my new place:

1) Limited seating areas. Yes there will be table service but its a limited concept and its not the primary place to be so its removed from the dance floor and far from the bar. Enough already with this concept of being elite and letting these bars charge too much money for something we really don't need.

2) The bar has sufficient space for people to hang out, which means a long bar with at least ten feet between the front end of the bar and wall parallel to it. That would allow people to hang out at the bar and to hang out across from the bar.

3) No more lines in front of the club. The concept of creating interest through lines is something that should have never caught on. I never understood what person goes by a place and sees a massive line (typically made up of dudes) and immediately says "I have to go there". I also never pulled up to a place in the last ten years, saw a massive line and then declared that it would be a good place to go. Usually when I see big lines, I know I am going to be miserable at a place. Instead of the lines, you let the place fill up to a reasonable level and then you tell people who try and come in that they should come back in half an hour. Give them some kind of stamp so that they get priority when they do come back.

4) Music. This is a little tough. I think you have solid concepts for Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Thursday is a general blend. Friday is like a rock/hip hop night and then Saturday can be the more house/dance music kind of thing so that the place has appeal to various different crowds. This would also prevent the concept of the place getting a stigma by attracting one group of people. For example there are place throughout Manhattan that might be great places but I know they are corny Russian house music places that kids with money from Brooklyn or Jersey go to. I would never step foot in a place like that.

The critics of these basic concepts would say my ideas are not economically feasible. I disagree. The biggest flaw of clubs and restaurants is that they are fleeting and typically do not stick because eventually the concept that made the place popular initially burns out and the places slowly dies. Economically the place I described above has a much better chance to stick because it offers something to everyone so you have a better chance of creating a buzz in a lot of different scenes. So while you may lose something by not engaging in the table service, you gain it back through volume and consistency.

I will also say this has started happening as Brooklyn, which is not just the home of the hipster, has realized that even places that are beyond the pub scene can be receptive to anyone that comes. Brooklyn Bowl in Williamsburg has done an amazing job of building a place that has attracted a lot of different types of people (including having Kanye West do random performances and I saw Brandy right outside one night). They do not operate by attracting people by being exclusive. Rather they have a big place that accommodates a lot of people and they place different types of music on different nights that attract a lot of different people.

The Evolution of Entertainment

2011-03-07T07:10:00.001-05:00

The internet amongst other things has changed entertainment in a radical way. Now a days the internet really filters out a lot of different types of television shows, movies, radio programs and whatever else might be available. It has now successfully destroyed radio. Howard Stern predicted this six years ago but it really has come to fruition. Any advertiser that believes anyone with any real money is listening to ordinary radio has lost their mind. I don't believe they do as all you hear are debt consolidation commercials. Satellite radio is by far better because it is geared to a lot of different tastes and the smartest thing they did recently is make themselves available on the internet and over people's phones.

The internet also allows you to find others that enjoy the same things you do so ten years ago if you found a show like Madmen, you may find one or two friends that can get into it and you guys would discuss it. Now, Madmen, which is on a relatively unknown cable network, has a relatively small but vocal following that has made it a cultural phenomenon. Ten years ago the show would have never made it because the word of mouth and that vocal minority would have never made it so obvious to people how much the show is loved.

Bill Simmons is a guy who has attacked the internet and made a whole new type of sports media/pop culture review that is really amazing. He is now starting a separate website that I believe will be an absolute homerun because this guy gets it. Simmons doesn't try and do too much, he just does what he wants to do. I guess he realized a while ago that if he writes and speaks about the things that he loves, he'll have listeners and countless readers because the product will be better than him just trying to fit in the same old mold.

I just bought one of these massive Apple iMac's and I am loving it. I have realized how much a computer now can provide ten times the entertainment that a television or a radio could. The internet has allowed you to combine television, movies, magazines, newspapers, blogs, podcasts and so many other things. I have a feeling in ten years, network television is going to be dramatically different because the demographic that doesn't understand the internet is slowly fading into the ether. The future lies in the iPad, google television, other tablet devices and televisions that are more computers. Just like newspapers and radio are going to be extinct sooner, rather than later, television has no where to go. There are no adjustments to be made. All its going to take is one website to develop its own content that compels people to watch over anything they see on network television or cable. The technology already exists to allow for a computer will be in your living room with limitless, customizable and interactive options, as opposed to a plain old television, which is really unilateral and speculative entertainment.

The Ethics of a Profession

2011-03-06T22:59:00.001-05:00

I just finished reading the book "No One Would Listen" which was interesting for a lot of reasons. The man who tried to bring down Madoff had a lot of things to get off his chest and while I do not agree with all of his beliefs, one thing is true, ethics more often are a justification for doing something that is self motivated, as opposed to a concept that is supposed to be prioritized over anything. The basic concept from the Madoff scandal was that beyond just the SEC, a great deal of people in the financial industry knew that Madoff was doing something wrong but decided to ignore it. Even some of the so called victims that were told of the fraud, decided to ignore it because they didn't want to escape the fantasy and the greed that came with the mythical returns. In my rather smaller example is the concept of dealing with clients when you are at a midsize firm. I realized something when I first started, there is a concept that is so logical when it comes to ethics, that you think its standard -- counsel the client for his best interest and not what produces the greatest amount of fees. People wonder why lawyers get a bad stereotype and its simply because we are financially motivated and sometimes we take advantage of the clients zeal in order to get the better economic result for ourselves. The people who ignored Madoff did so because there was so self serving factor for themselves in speaking up. They preferred the bliss of ignorance. Similarly, clients come to lawyers looking for solutions that sometimes aren't there. We are problem solvers but sometimes the solution isn't what they want to hear. Just like Madoff's victims, there were a lot of signs of the fraud but they just ignored it because they were enjoying the money. And those on Wall Street who were aware, didn't believe they had an ethical duty to report what was happening. I don't know, as I progress in my career, I think I may need to get out of it because its obvious that I do have an ethical backbone and perhaps it won't work as a lawyer for a midsize firm.

A Tribute to Mr. Stern

2010-12-08T06:56:00.001-05:00

There are very few things in popular media that actually improve over time. Most of the time the quality and popularity of something operate like a bell curve, they steadily increase, plateau and then steadily decrease. And usually quality and popularity often work hand in hand. Look at most television shows- Sopranos, Seinfeld, etc.. and movie series- Rocky, Godfather, Matrix, etc...

One of the few exceptions to the rule has been Howard Stern. I have been listening since around 1993 and the show has steadily changed. Its been the most pleasant experience I have had with any form of media as the show has evolved along with me over the years. It's actually a shame that perceived derivation of Howard fame comes from the more outlandish things he did twenty five to thirty years ago because if people actually took the time to listen to him they would hear for themselves an intelligent, hilarious, humble and most of all honest man, who has provided amazing content for thirty years. The show as I have known it comes on at 6:00 am and typically ranges for four to five hours (usually the later). That in it of itself is amazing -- the fact that this man could entertain millions of people at that ungodly hour and for that long each morning. The show itself is remarkable because Howard (and the people around him) are innovators. The reality is that this was the first "reality show" ever created. Its probably the truest form of entertainment left because it isn't aided by anything visual but only by the creativity of a couple of different people. It is purely intellectual entertainment in my mind (including the prank phone calls) because it offers nothing visual, only the voices of various different people interacting with one another, who share a sense of humor (and sometimes they don't, which makes it that much more entertaining).

I am writing this now because Howard Stern's contract with Sirius Satellite Radio is about to end in about a week and there is a possibility that this will be the last we hear of Howard. He has done enough to walk off into the sunset without any regrets, like I said he has provided endless content. But I have to say that sine his arrival to Satellite radio, the show, and Stern specifically, has been nothing but incredible. The thought that the show was fueled by Stern's anti-management hatred and rhetoric was completely false. The show is fueled by the content, which is driven by Stern and his staff and now that censorship has been removed, the show has blossomed even more than it did ten or fifteen years ago, when Stern was at the height of his popularity. Some of the more simple minded fans have turned away from the show because he has changed as a direct result of him getting older and getting richer. But that is the brilliance of the show. The guy is a multi-millionaire who is married to a model and living on the Upper West Side of Manhattan and in the Hamptons. That is very distinct from the guy who was happily married with small children at home, or the recently divorced single guy with teenage daughters at home. But not matter what, he has always been honest on the radio. Yes he has kept some things private but in the end he always is honest and that is what makes him so remarkable. That is how he can range from hilarious to insightful. The show has become brilliant. Its a perfect balance of great interviews, thought full commentary and amazing comedy.

Any thought that Sirius can survive without him is probably a mistake because what Sirius has done is demonstrate to Stern that he has a viable fan base that will financially support him wherever he goes. He is truly the last great entertainer. Someone who only needs a microphone and a stage and can entertain you for hours a day, with only his imagination and his voice as his tools. Name me the other guy or girl out there who can do that. They don't exist anymore.

Turning Thirty

2010-10-31T09:50:00.001-04:00

Its odd that as I grow older I understand more things but that understanding doesn't bring any clarity. I understand now why people stay in relationships and put up with things that they typically would never put up with when they were 17 or 18. I also understand why people feel the pressure to do things, whether it be kids, getting married, changing careers, changing their appearance and any other thing that I used to look at with a slight disdain. But at the same time none of that offers me any clarity on my own situation. I know I should be thinking about settling down with a girl and contemplating a family because thirty can quickly turn into thirty-five and then forty and at that point it might be too late. But while I think about, and I guess to a certain extent that creates some internal pressure, the reality is that I really do nothing about it. I am content with what I have and I feel like things should happen organically. I don't want one of these contrived life situations that that are merely products of the external pressures of family and friends.

Labor Day Weekend

2010-09-05T09:39:00.000-04:00

I have mentioned this before but one of the things I have realized is that those major holiday weekends where people plan some kind of tremendous outing -- see New Years Eve, Thanksgiving Eve, etc. -- are typical the weekends where the people who don't really go out, decide to go out. Not to say I am some kind of party animal but I have a little more consistency in my life, where I do try and get out pretty routinely. Now people on Labor Day usually plan some kind of weekend away, whether it be in the Hamptons, the Jersey Shore or a trip somewhere in general. Its nice but again, to me it has to be one of the stupidest things I have ever seen. None of these locations are worth the hassle and pain of actually getting there. Also, the congestion involved in being out there is outrageous.

But more importantly, I would wager, 50% of the people who are actually doing this are miserable but just join in because they don't want to miss out. Its funny because its one of those things that I used to notice in college and I grew out of it quickly. But anyone over the age of 22 that can handle Neptunes in the Hamptons is either brain dead or just following the crowd.

The Sociology of Pop- Culture

2010-08-08T13:10:00.000-04:00

I like to think I have very particular but eclectic taste in television. In any given year I will only commit to three or four television shows that I will consistently watch. I normally abhor reality television. I cannot watch more than thirty seconds of American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Survivor or any of the million semi reality shows on MTV. However, MTV has in my opinion given birth to the reality TV phenomenon by giving us the Real World. Now I know people who tell me that the Real World is slightly scripted and slightly produced but I think the show still stands up. After about twenty years and countless cities, the formula works for the most part. Some seasons are better than others but they always provide you with some kind of interesting observation of the sociological experiment of putting seven or eight people into a house and forcing them to interact. And its that simple, the interaction, no games, no challenges, just simple interaction amongst seven strangers. I used to watch Real World all the time and then I unintentionally took a slight hiatus from the show because of law school and the lack of time, until Bill Simmons and his repeat podcast guest Dave Jacoby began to consistently discuss the show and its offspring the Real World-Road Rules Challenge. Not to mention how much time Chuck Klosterman spent discussing the show in some of his work and with Bill Simmons. It also helps to add DVR to your life so that you are not subject to the arbitrary schedule of televsion. I think the simplicity of the Real World makes it stand the test of time. These guys confirmed that watching these shows is a source of entertainment in a totally different way then watching a normal drama like Mad Men. These people are essentially a sociological experiment being broadcast on television. I am not watching a story, in actuality I am just observing people interact and the story is secondary to the actual characters. I also love to see how willing these kids are to go on television and completely forget the ramifications of having a camera on you and whatever you do being broadcast nationally.

Now of course more recently the Jersey Shore has taken that Real World concept and narrowed the scope to the North East "guido" cultural phenomenon. And I call it phenomenon because it has made the rest of the country aware of something that I have known (and most of the east coast has known) for the past thirty years. The "Jersey Shore" culture has evolved over the past thirty years. But essentially it has always existed and it wasn't until now that national forum was created to expose this culture. The odd part it, unlike with the Paris Hilton phenomenon where young people began to believe that showing off your money is normal and the cool thing to do, the Jersey Shore concept has sort of isolated these people in that they are now a stereotype. No one likes to labeled something. Its okay when you label yourself but when you painted with a broad brush by a group of eight people who collectively do not show a great deal of intelligence. But what the producers of this show did find, are a group of people who are willing to portray the extreme of this culture without any regard to any kind of embarrassment or regret. That is difficult because anyone can act a certain way when the cameras are off but when they are on, most people would hesitate to give you the absolute truth. That is what makes these people so endearing and entertaining. There is a raw honesty when you see people willing to say and do things that you never thought were possible. Thats why Pauly D and the Situation et al, are like family now. And they may have a permanent spot in our pop-culture because of that raw honesty. Now of course as time goes by the reality of who they are will change. But what has been captured these first couple of seasons, will never change. The Jersey Shore will now be a permanent part of our pop culture. Its somewhat frightening but also highly entertaining.

A New Bohemian Society?

2010-08-01T13:53:00.000-04:00

I know I am late to the party and many people have discussed how amazing Williamsburg has become in the last ten years but I really got a first hand view of how amazing it actually is. A friend of mine invited to a Gogol Bordello concert at the Williamsburg Waterfront (they put on a great show). Its a massive park that overlooks the East River and has a magnificent view of the Manhattan Skyline. It is surrounded by a couple of modern looking condo buildings. The atmosphere and people are phenomenal. The whole area is bursting with this very existential and communal energy. It was one of the first times in a long time that I tried something completely foreign to me and not within my zone of comfort. But I went in with an open mind and looking to have fun. And I can honestly that I had one of the best times that I have had in a while. I felt truly young again, being around all of these people who didn't have the typical pretenses and concerns for appearances that the people I normally surround myself do. Nobody cared about what the other person was wearing or the atmosphere. All it was was a bunch of people with all different types of backgrounds enjoying good music, some beer and some food. It is one of the most organic social experiences I have ever had. Everyone is friendly and its not a meat market where people are there for a purpose, whether it be to try and meet someone or to make appearances. No, this was just about being out and having fun.

Patriotism and Sports

2010-06-27T14:43:00.001-04:00

As an avid sports fan I can honestly say that one thing that has never appealed to me is the concept of international sporting events and competitions. The true value of a country should never be found on playing field. I have never felt a sense of patriotism when it comes to watching the Olympics, baseball (the new tournament) and especially now- soccer and the World Cup. I will never understand how people who never watch a sport can suddenly turn on an interest merely based on national pride. I really don't even understand the concept of national pride and sporting events. If the United States were to have beaten Ghana on Saturday, would that somehow have improved the status of this country internationally? Would I somehow have bragging rights over Ghanaians? When do I run into Ghanaians? And how do I suddenly take an interest in a sport that I pay no mind to for the last four years (more than that for most people who now claims to watch soccer)? Is the only reason to have the ability to say "USA!"???

Also I find it extraordinarily ironic that the same people who are the most bigoted or have extreme political beliefs are the ones who seem to get the most excited about things like this. And as soon as its over, they go back to hating people based on their religious beliefs, sexual preference, skin color or political beliefs who coincidentally share the common nationality that they were so willing to embrace days before. I find it all disingenuous and ridiculous by the people who get into these random sports that have no popularity except every four years when the World Cup and Olympics are on television. They find an excuse to watch something and motivation is based on a patriotism. Patriotism ended forty years ago in this country. When the reality of corruption of our government came to the forefront after Nixon and the Vietnam War demonstrated that national pride has its limitations when those in power have agendas. We can take pride in a lot of things. But winning sporting competitions shouldn't be a source of patriotism.

It is an archaic concept that hopefully one day will end. The belief in national borders and somehow playing out international rivalries through sports is moronic. If you are watching out of respect for a sport you love, then I understand. But national pride? Come on its a myth and it always has been. Sports are as meaningless as wars, and therefore nothing can be learned or gleamed from a victory in some kind of international competition.

All these people who claim to watch it and say it has some kind of pure value as opposed to professional sports are delusional. Athletes are a form of entertainment and somehow gaining national pride over a victory on a field in Africa is a joke. Take pride in the fact that we have come to a point where the first black president was elected and he was as unlikely a candidate to succeed as anyone could have expected. Take pride in the fact that this world is evolving and through internet and mass media, globalization is becoming more and more of a reality. That should be the goal, not these polarizing meaningless sporting events that are vestiges of a world that is quickly fading.

Brian Cushing...WTF Media!

2010-05-17T07:13:00.000-04:00

I have written previously of how the morality of American professional sports has some odd kind of paradox where those that cover baseball have a sort of sanctimonious attitude to the ethics of the game. The real conundrum arises when you realize some of the same people who cover baseball, cover all these other sports as well. Earlier this week, it was announced that Brian Cushing a linebacker for the Houston Texans tested positive for a banned substance and was therefore suspended for four games. The reaction was, as I suspected it would be, very apathetic. No one cared. Then, the AP announced that they would conduct a re-vote for the Defensive Rookie of the Year Award that Cushing had won earlier in the offseason. I was a little surprised. For the most part steroids and the NFL are like spaghetti and meatballs. No one really bats an eye when news comes out, even when its a relatively high profile player (unlike baseball where every remote story gets reported and people speculate at the first instance of improved or declining performance). Well after they voted again, Brian Cushing won anyway. Now let me make this clear, I have no issue with this guy winning. It is perfectly acceptable and I find it completely disengenious for anyone to act surprised that this guy was on some kind of performance enhancing drug. For God's sake he reminded me of Lattimer from the movie the Program during the draft coverage last year (he was pulling a boulder in one clip). My issue is that the media reaction is an example of the complete hypocrisy when it comes to covering certain types of sports.

Baseball has its foundation in the historic fabric of this country. That is as far as I will go in the romance of the sport. Some writers and television personalities use that as the foundation to make MLB a religion, rather then a source of entertainment. Its probably the reason Congress and certain members of federal law enforcement have wasted money and time in trying to blow the cover off of steroid abuse in MLB. It is an absolute farce. No one in Congress has called for the NFL to testify or for a public lashing. This is unbelievable because if the same thing happened in baseball, there would be members of the media who would be screaming from the roof tops. Last year Manny Ramirez got suspended and pursuant to the collective bargaining agreement was allowed to rehab in minor league games during the final week of his suspension. This became a perfect example of how baseball doesn't have any teeth in its anti-PED policies. Well, the NFL just had one of their best young players test positive during an award winning season and announced it nearly six months after the end of the season.

The Value of Life

2010-05-14T10:34:00.000-04:00

A couple of months ago an acquaintance/friend of a friend was arrested- for double murder. I didn't know this person but it was disturbing to see people's reactions to his arrest and alleged conduct. People were stunned by the news and then the justifications and excuses began and then you saw the slight pleasure in his demise. He came from a family that was very well off and on the shoulders of his father he started his own business. Through all of that, it was clear that he couldn't avoid the allure of the glamor of criminal activities. He tried to associate himself with it as much as he could, even though, for the most part he was surrounded by relatively mellow people. His immediate network of friends and the people who supported him were good people who appeared to be genuine friends. I think it was his own self loathing that pushed him into something that he never needed to get into. Those who did love him didn't love him for his money or persona.

The Joshua Tree

2010-04-25T23:35:00.000-04:00

Saturday night turned into one of those nights that aren't premeditated or planned but turn out to be a lot of fun. It is one of those nights that you just decide to shoot out to a bar with some friends and you jump around. This was especially fun because it reminded me of one those places that you forget as you grow older. The Joshua Tree is one of those places that I love. Its a true New York specialty. Its essentially a tightly packed bar filled with 20 year olds that belt out some of the best music of the 80's and sometimes some different eras. But essentially its just a bunch of strangers having fun to some fun music. Not to mention there are a ton hot girls in there hanging out ready to have fun. 80's music is a guilty pleasure of mine so this place is right up my alley. And I had been there before, when it was probably more age appropriate (i.e.- early 20's to mid twenties). Its the biggest problem with being in NY, there seems to be certain age and socio-economic places that are appropriate for me. Unfortunately, I am starting realize that I just don't like some of those scenes. It used to be financial concerns but now I realize a night in a tightly packed bar with fun people, is ten times better then any lounge or overpriced bar that is financially selective to the people they let in. My favorite premise/line from an article New York magazine the other day was we have somehow confused rich with cool. I know whats cool and I've seen all types of depictions of cool, Saturday was pretty night was pretty fucking cool.

Part II of the Musical Biography- the High School Years

2010-04-22T10:27:00.001-04:00

I was lucky enough to go to a magnet school in Queens where you had people from all over the city coming to that school. And while Queens is quite eclectic, this school was even more so because you had rather sophisticated gathering of kids from all over the City. High school had a lot of different things, but for me the one that stood out was hip-hop. And specifically rap. I remember being a freshman and somebody letting me listen to Wu Tang and Biggie. It really was eye opening because I had never really been exposed to it and back then there was really only one rap station on the radio -- Hot 97. There were those mainstream (and by mainstream I mean songs that would make it to the corny top 40 stations) rap songs that were just catchy and mostly annoying without any kind of artistic value. However, when you go to a school that is relatively diverse and are surrounded by minorities and people who grew up all over New York City, then you get exposed to a lot of great things.

For me it was my freshman year in high school, right after I played basketball with a kid named Juan from Jackson Heights. This was right during the time that tapes were still around but on the way out. So for the most part people just had Walkmans and a couple had portable CD players. As we picked up our stuff to walk to the bus stop, Juan reached into his bag and pulled out his Walkman and hit play as he started to put the earphones over his ears. I heard the music blasting from the Walkman, so I asked him what garbage he was listening to. He showed me the tape with the picture of the small baby with the words "Ready to Die" printed above. He let me listen for a minute and I was of the mind that rap music had no value whatsoever so I heard it, was somewhat intrigued but played my role as the ignorant white guy and just handed it back to him. At some point I decided to listen to that music on that same tape and I realized quickly what an idiot I had been. Then I went to a house party and heard some Wu Tang and Jay Z and Nas and Mob Deep. I quickly fell in love with it. I never went too far and tried to speak like I knew what I was talking about. But man to this day, some of that music still resonates for me. I get those images from high school and those memories come flooding back. Not to mention that those years were clearly the golden years for that genre.

Religion-Sophistication

2010-04-04T10:25:00.000-04:00

The one thing about the political split in this country is that it has polarized those with religious beliefs and those who have more liberal political perspectives. It is unfortunate because it has made it seem like being liberal and being religious are mutually exclusive. Unfortunately many conservatives have used religion as the justification for many stupid political philosophies and stands. And at the same time, those on the left have used this condescending tone about those who do have religious beliefs. The bottom line is this, religion is about faith, not objective fact. Its the whole Kierkegaard concept, faith in God is something that the truly existential person can achieve. Not to say, you can't be existential without faith, but the ability to believe in something without objective proof and without empirical evidence is extraordinarily difficult for anyone with any level of sophistication. It is something I have struggled with at times. But the ability to find that faith through all of these distractions is remarkable and I haven't gotten all the way there yet because my life has a lot of empty holes in it. But I do know I have my faith, I just haven't been able to wrap my head around the whole thing yet and how it fits into my life.

Anyway, I have realized that religion is going to go one of two ways. Its going to become a product of past and vestige of middle America where they are always intentionally slightly behind certain intellectual advancements. OR religion will evolve when will realize that religion really should be left out of the public forum. Everyone should be entitled to have their faith and have the method upon which they practice that faith. Publicly forcing religion down peoples throats only leads to conflict.

Healthcare Reform

2010-03-25T07:12:00.000-04:00

I woke up the other morning and the news was flooded with reports of President Obama's passage of a new bill that will reform the Healthcare industry. I went to my computer and read a couple articles about the new law, trying to get some negative aspects and positive aspects. I won't bore anybody with the positive aspects. But the only negative things I read was the connection between this plan and socialism. The premise of the argument is that this plan will cost most middle class and upper middle class people a great deal of money in taxes to pay for others. I am little baffled by these criticisms. Are we really still scared of socialism or even communism to an extent? We reached a stage where the concept of a free market almost resulted in a global depression because of the greed and essentially lies of those who are proponents of that economic theory. I just don't get how someone could be upset that their tax dollars are going towards medical treatments. If there is anything I feel comfortable with is paying for poor people to have medical care. To make sure that kids with cancer get proper treatment. Aside from that I also like having roads drive on, I also like having police available in the area and fireman and public schools. I don't think we are steps away from communism because we decided that everyone should have access to a doctor when they are sick. I don't understand how this can be a political battle when there so much waste in so many other areas. But the funny part is that I see the criticisms from my friends on facebook. From people in the healthcare industry and the only thing I can tell from their protests is that they don't like the ideology behind the reform, not the actual substance of the reform. And biggest irony is that same people who call it socialism, criticize the plan as not sufficient to do what it should do. Now that is a big pile of bullshit.

The Morality of American Sports

2010-03-05T16:00:00.001-05:00

I was recently listening to a sports related podcast where I heard some conversation about the potential labor problems in the NFL and the NBA. The discussion came up that the NBA might not be able to recover from a potential labor stoppage. The way that hockey has now been completely relegated since their last labor stoppage (in all fairness, hockey was struggling to stay popular prior to the strike). But the funny part is that these sports commentators have a funny way of analyzing these issues. As if there is some kind of morality involved in a sports fan's interest in a sport. The premise that baseball somehow lost fans following the 1994 strike because those fans were offended by the labor stoppage is absolutely ridiculous. If there is a real fan out there who claims they stopped watching because of that -- they were never a real fan to begin with. They were simply the casual fan that followed sports to essentially fit in. I am not saying anything is wrong with that. The casual fan is a necessary evil to every sport, otherwise the sport wouldn't really exist.

Anyway, the morality of sports is simple to me. If you can see the guys face when he is playing, then you somehow attach some kind of ethical code to his behavior and the sport in general. Take baseball for instance, which has been "exposed" for steroids over the past five or six years. Well let me honest with the entire sanctimonious media -- WE ALL KNEW. Anyone who was between the ages of 16-30 in 1998 was well aware that Mark McGuire was completed inflated on steroids. And Barry Bonds, that there was any surprise is a complete farce. However, the NFL is littered with well known players who have been implicated, caught or admitted to taking steroids. But no one seems to care ever. Why? Because you can't see their faces. They are just massive bodies in helmets colliding into one another.

Of course it is more than that. The media has attached some kind of romantic, sentimental ethical meaning to baseball which really should not have happened. A guy like Bob Costas means well, but essentially he is letting his personal evolution and fondness for the sport interfere with the reality that things just don't have the same meaning for you as you age and especially when you make it the basis of your career. The first time I saw the Yankees win the World Series was completely different from the second or third or even the most recent, which happened when I was 29 years old, as opposed to 20 the last time. And as I age, the game has evolved with respect to what it means to me. People who grew up in the 1960's looked at baseball players as living gods because they were essentially the only real professional sport on a national level. Football was in its infancy and run absolutely poorly, especially since everyone loved college football. So now, when we are saturated with professional sports, the humanity and mistakes of these guys becomes magnified. It is absolutely insane for a sports journalist to try and predict or perceive what a casual fan's response to something is going to be. The casual fan is never going to be visceral about something. They'll have an opinion and probably most of it will not have any basis in fact, rather the opinion will be based on what they casually overheard in conversation. Sports journalists are like your typical fanatic, they take all of this stuff way too seriously. But it is really the only way to be a real sports fan.

The Development of a Serial Killer.

2010-02-17T10:32:00.000-05:00

I just read through this article regarding a young man who clearly has social problems that were exacerbated by the online multi player video game known as World of Warcraft. It is rather disturbing to believe that someone who is clearly socially retarded and not well adjusted socially could develop in the first place. But it is clear that this game has only helped accelerate his social retardation. He went quickly past the stage of awkward to loner to sociopath. I can't possibly link all of his behavior to WoW but it seems obvious that this dude lost his shit because of the video game. And that video game may have fostered some of his social shortcomings. From the people I know that play it, it becomes somewhat obsessive and you can actually lose interest in actually going anywhere, because you have a steady stream of socializing through the game.

But the question becomes, do these electronic social forums really supplement or in more cases supplant the need for real life human interaction. Even telephone conversations provide certain intimacy and a level of honesty in how you interact with someone. Electronic social forums really allow people to live in a fantasy world, which to a certain extent is amazing but I wonder what some psychologists say about this, especially in the context of teenagers and young adults who inherently have a hard time socializing. They always make these bizarre sci-fi movies, but is our generation going to be the one that really ends the concept of real-life human interaction as opposed to "real time" interaction through a screen and frabricated self image. Look at Second Life, there is no allure of people even having mystical power, it is simply an alternate reality where people attempt to live their lives.

It is sad, forty years ago, that generation was defined by Woodstock, where people simply got together and listened to great music without any concern for the appearance -- really existential. Now we have a completely contrived and fabricated method of socializing.

Good Music and Substance ??? Stunned

2010-02-16T15:22:00.000-05:00

There are some pretty good mainstream musicians out there contrary to what I have written before. Unfortunately in the past ten years one of the greatest inventions of the 1980's has gone away - music videos. We rarely ever get to see them anymore and you need to proactively find them. Someone I know posted this the other day on facebook in honor of Valentines Day. I loved the song and the video was perfect compliment, it was both creative and actual relevant to the song. Now a days the few videos I do see seem like bad mini-dramas meant to be on the WB.

The Tabula Rasa

2010-02-10T13:01:00.000-05:00

As we get older almost everything we do is the search for the tabula rasa -- the clean slate -- that fresh start that really doesn't exist. The only time that it ever really comes, is either when you are old or when you have a near death experience. When are people really motivated to change? Usually its only in a case of desperation and that usually leads to radical changes. It isn't something subtle, rather it usually is a matter of fear. Fear of continuing down the wrong path. For example addiction to drugs is essentially the same thing -- a need to get that blank slate -- to help you forget and they temporarily ease that pain of everyday reality.

I am kind of stealing this topic from Chuck Klosterman who believed that the tabula rasa is a waste of time because there is no way to really know yourself without contemplating what has happened to you in the paste and thinking about the future. I kind of agree with him but I do understand the tabula rasa pursuit and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. We quit our jobs so that we can start off fresh. We end relationships sometimes when we are in need of a fresh start (sometimes that decision backfires). Its all this constant search to try and forget what happened in order to make the future look better.

I am often haunted by my ex-girlfriend. I was with her for four years. I have now been broken up with her for close to two years. I know that it was for the best but I find myself thinking about her at random moments. When we broke up my initial reaction was to go out and be as reckless as possible. I met a bunch of girls/women who I was cruel to. I can't even plead ignorance to my own cruelty. I knew that I couldn't really develop a relationship with the girls that followed because I just wasn't feeling them. Its hard when you have been with someone for a while and develop a level of comfort to all of a sudden feel comfortable with a complete stranger. And at that time it felt really contrived. I would meet these girls, mostly in a drunken stupor when my confidence was at a high and the next morning I would want nothing to do with them. Even more uncomfortable was the follow up meetings when we were both sober and it became apparent that I wasn't even that attracted to them.

The next stage is when you think its been cleaned out of your system, you meet someone that seems to give you a level of comfort. For me that happened briefly but for most girls my age that level of comfort needs to be accelerated since they are in a rush to have a commitment. I handle things with trepidation now since as I said-- I am haunted.

Now I think I am at the stage where I am essentially a clean slate. I have come to realize that the blank slate is impossible. I can never be in the same position I was nearly six years ago nor would I want to be, since that would simply mean that I would be destined to relive the same thing again, which would essentially be tragic. You can never really wipe it away but you have to store it in a place where you can still be functional. The past is essentially your guide to the future. Not necessarily repeating it or avoiding it, rather just being aware. You can't help but be aware of your past. Even when you can bury it down deep, there are things that bring those memories back to the surface. It's just how I decide to react to those memories that makes the difference.

The Soundtrack of My Life - Part I

2010-02-05T09:06:00.000-05:00

I have fallen into this new hobby of immediately downloading either (i) obscure songs or (ii) songs that I haven't heard in a while that I hear in a movie. I have been downloading these songs and just listening to them repetitively. For example, I watched some awful Adam Sandler movie with a remote control etc.. the other day and they had some music in the Cranberries featured in the movie. Now I didn't necessarily like the song they played but it reminded of the Cranberries who were relatively popular when I was in high school. They were always one of those bands that made music that was fun to listen to when it came on the radio. But I never felt the urge to run out and buy their CD (I sound old for saying this but when I was in high school downloading music was a couple of years away from the mainstream). So when I heard this Cranberries song I decided I should download something and while I don't love the song, when I listen to it, it gives me a nice flashback to high school.

I started to think about my life in the context of music. It is funny how it has evolved. Certain movie directors/producers do a brilliant job of scoring a film with music that really helps supplement the story (eg- Cameron Crowe and Martin Scorsese). I think I would like to score my life or at least provide a certain type of music for different periods of my life which I'll do this over a couple of posts.

My earliest memories of music have to be from the 80's and they mostly come from my sister. I have a lot to thank her for, however, given the amazing music that was created in the 70's, she and my brother really failed in providing me with a nice road map to appreciating good music. That is why when I hear Bon Jovi or other 80's hair bands, I immediately think back to being a little kid and immediately shouting to my sister when a Bon Jovi video came on MTV. This is also why I am still able to essentially sing all of the lyrics to most of the Bon Jovi songs from the late 80's. Now Bon Jovi provides what I would call aesthetic musical enjoyment. It is simple and easy to listen to. It really has no substance. Now during that period, my sister really should have blended in some other things or genres of music. For example, Prince was around back then and while Prince has had his ups and downs, he is without argument a brilliant musician. Also there were bands like the Smiths (obscure) and U2 (popular) that really should have garnered more of her attention.

Later in life, in my mid teens, after she went to college she would bring back some better music. She started listening to hip-hop and some classic rock. She also brought me Guns & Roses. If I had to choose what music would have been given to me back then, it would have been the Beatles. Later in life I would really become obsessed with them but I am a little angry that I wasn't aware of that brilliance and their historical significance.

Do You Remember Me?

2010-02-02T00:40:00.000-05:00

I guess in every relationship, there is one person who is more hurt than the other one when it ends. I just watched the movie "500 Days of Summer". It was a cute story, with a very different type of ending for that type of movie. And the gender roles are completely reversed from what we typically see. I thought it was refreshing because there has always been a cinematic push to portray men as the cruel characters. This one had two people who got together and seemed to be a perfect match. But in the end it was the male character who was the injured party. It was the male character who had fallen desperately in love and the female character who had controlled her emotions. She was even capable of walking away from him in a sudden turn when she realized she didn't have the same feelings as him.

It made me realize that we all have these things happen to us. For me, I guess it has been hard for me to acknowledge that I may have loved my ex-girlfriend more than she loved me. I have said it to myself a thousand times but I never really could admit it to myself. Its been almost two years and I realize that she left because she knew she didn't have those feelings for me anymore and it wouldnt be fair. I had always believed that I had let it get away from me because I wasn't good enough to her. But now I know it wasn't that. We changed as we grew older together and it became apparent that we weren't meant to be together. I was too much of a creature of habit to understand that at the time. So I blamed her and then I blamed myself and now I realize it doesn't have to be someones fault. It just has to be.

The Paper Chase

2010-02-01T22:19:00.000-05:00

I notice something about my generation that becomes extraordinarily obvious when you get into the legal field. We are all extraordinarily idealistic when it comes to financial success. We all think that we are guaranteed to make a certain amount of money based on the stereotype of a profession. It is ridiculous but absolutely true. You see the legal profession has been portrayed in a certain way in most public forums. For the most part, attorneys are cruel, money hungry people, who will sap you of all your wealth. Well that for the most part is a myth, yes we are cruel and money hungry, but for the most part attorneys do not sap people of their wealth. A lot of attorneys merely profit from someone's mistake and in addition, someone's misfortune. There is nothing even remotely valid to the concept that an attorney doesn't earn the money he gets. We live in a world of rules and regulations, so the concept that there specific people, with specific training who facilitate dispute resolution or negotiations, is not some kind of devious plan or waste.

But getting back to the point. Yes, the general image people have is that attorneys become wealthy individuals. Now, attorneys for the most part, can guarantee themselves a relatively good living. After a certain amount of time they can even support family. However, in the last ten years the legal profession has become saturated and people who had grand expectations when they applied to law school are realizing the realities of the financial aspect of being an attorney. When I was in college and contemplated law school, the owner of one of the restaurants I worked in told me "Why do you want to be a lawyer? There are only 24 hours in a day. There is only so much money you can make." I kind of a brushed it aside at the time but he was right.

People who become lawyers more often than not are seeking high financial rewards. But in the end they get disappointed. Investment bankers could use are paychecks to wipe there asses. And that is why you have a generation of attorneys who are complacent. But the funny party is that they aren't willing to really get into the chase. They don't want to work to actually to get to a certain point. And like I said before, instead of complaining we do need to modernize the profession. Rather than complaining constantly, we need to elevate these old geezers and make them realize there is a lot more money to be made.

The Suffering of Sophisticated Sports Fans

2010-01-24T08:08:00.000-05:00

This recent run on the New York Jets has me very reflective on being a sports fan and the anguish that can flow from it. One of my closest friends is a passionate Jets fan. Every Sunday I travel to his house in Westchester where we watch the full slate of games. He loves football like I love baseball. With respect to both of our passions we follow them in every possible way. We read voluminous amounts of materials and we watch whatever we can to get a better idea of what we are watching every week.

My point is that there are two types of sports fans: (i) the sophisticated analytical fan and (ii) the simple mind sports talk radio fans. For an outsider it's difficult to distinguish and it would take too long to explain but here is an exchange between myself and my friend. It demonstrates the pain and level of thought that we have when it comes to sports. Here is his email to me:

As someone who has been through this before just a few years ago, let me ask you if it is normal that I am emotionally and mentally spent from this Jets run in the playoffs. I cannot bring myself to read another article or see another program about the Jets because I just can't take it anymore. One guys says this and other says the exact opposite and all the while I have my own thoughts that for some reason keep being swayed by every article I read, every program I see, every quote from Rex and the players. I am so tired of this that I REALLY don't even care if the jets lose on Sunday and as a matter of fact I hope they do because I cannot even begin to imagine the amount of shit I will have to read for 2!! more weeks after this leading to the super bowl. Is this normal, did you suffer from something similar or am I just being retarded?

And this is how I responded:

I have been thinking about this. I did not, mine was a little more fun. To be honest, I think the Giants are the cause of your problem. These so called experts got caught with their pants down that year. Every game the Giants played in the playoffs they were the heavy underdog. I mean when they played Dallas, it was really pre-Romo mush theory so everyone thought the Cowboys would roll them. Then everyone thought Green Bay and Farve would kill them in the cold. At the time, I really had no expectations and really the only people saying anything positive were psychotic Giant fans whose beliefs were really grounded in drinking the kool-aid then the actual facts. I mean after the fact, considering how they played it was obvious they could win. But they had done nothing to prove in half of the games they played before. I wasn't even sure if they would beat Tampa that year and Tampa was gay. Plus Coughlin never said anything and I hated him.

Now the Jets thing, no one wants to get caught off guard so you have the traditionalists who want to believe that the sixteen game season means something and the guys who hedge who are trying to evaluate on how these teams are playing now which is really the appropriate analysis. Plus you guys have it so different. Its like a guy with a broken heart. You have been ravaged by this team so often. And you went into this season with no expectations. Its sort of like meeting that random girl at the bar and she is pretty hot so you hang out with her. Things are a little off so you say "eh not the relationship type" but you still want to have sex (parallel is watching football on Sundays) so you'll take the trip and bang her out. Time goes by and the sex gets gradually better and she seems more tolerable. Eventually you realize you committed and you kind of like her. So no matter what you said at the beginning and your disinterest, losing her will end up bothering you. Its the same old thing, you didn't want to commit to the Jets but you did. You enjoyed their defense like you enjoy sex with that girl. You really don't like the conversation (that analogy is Mark Sanchez or Kerry Rhodes) but you'll deal with it for everything else she offers in the immediate future.

All I can say is just realize you are in it now, might as well root for it to go all the way. Maybe in the end you'll get anal (aka the Super Bowl). Stop reading till Sunday. Its my only suggestion.

Politics and My Favorite Sports Team

2010-01-17T14:30:00.000-05:00

The history of American politics over the last fifty years is typically portrayed this way: (i) liberal = young, east coast jewish middle - upper class people and (ii) conservative = older mid-western and southern. Of course the obvious parties are attached to that as well. Now the myth is that you can stereotype people that way. Typically, the people I come across are merely products of their enviornment. If their parents were extreme, then that person either follows suit or goes the complete opposite way.

It also appears that politics are now a bi-product of social status. People who are conservative pride themselves on it because they feel as though they are pariahs. Liberals have always been welcoming but at the same time extremely hostile to those who don't agree with them and by hostile I mean extraordinarily condescending. You always hear about partisan politics but its funy because I see your casual person who cares about it (especially men) treat it as though its a sports team. There can never be a situation where the other guy is right or you can root for the other team. No matter what, if you like the red states, you go republican. The individuals who represent them are just like the players on the other team, you hate them even if they are talented and skilled individuals. For example I loathe Kevin Youkilis but in a vacuum I realize the guy is an extraordinary baseball player, though I can argue that he sucks.

Its the same thing for politics. The thing is, it doesn't make sense when it comes to the things that politics deals with. Do we really need to make it that much of a competition? How can you determine if there is a winner and loser, when ultimately whatever these guys do has no implication on them, rather it always has the greatest impact on us? It's not like when the Yankees and Red Sox play, I benefit from the Yankees but when they lose it is merely emotional. Now we have people who despise Barack Obama and not on substance for the most part but because of the ideal he represents. You can't possibly be conservative and support the black liberal democrat. Even though most of his policies have been right up the middle. It's bizarre to me that we can justify this and there are actually TV networks committed to this concept. Is there a major difference between the YES Network and FOX News? I just don't see it and I don't get it.

Politics should be the simplest thing. Go with what makes sense. Don't play defense. If someone suggests something then either suggest a better resolution OR get out of the way.

Happy New Year!- I think

2010-01-10T15:52:00.001-05:00

You know I complained a little about going out on New Years Eve (and a little Thanksgiving Eve). I also noticed (thanks to certain social media) that there is small minority that hates the whole premise it being a "holiday" when the calendar changing from December to January. I thought about this carefully. I of course endulged myself that night. Not like I have in the past but I did go out, have a couple of drinks and sleep in the next morning. In my life that is a holiday. I also called/texted most of my family and friends (those who weren't around). So I guess this is one of those cultural norms/trends that I don't have as much of an issue with.

Now let me clarify, the current status of the nightlife in New York on New Years Eve is a complete disaster because they have made it incredibly expensive to even contemplate planning something. You can find your bargains but most establishments attempt to use that night to get every last dollar out of people. That I do find offensive. And it is very similar to my feelings towards Thanksgiving Eve, so I won't go into detail, except to say it really is amateur night.

Now as for the concept that it is a holiday. I can actually take the populist side of this debate. To me it is much more of a holiday then approximately 75% of the so called "holidays" we do celebrate. Lets put it this we can rule out all of the hallmark holidays- Valentines Day, Mothers 'Day and Fathers' Day. While I have no issue with celebrating or honoring your loved ones on certain days, these days are purely a product of Hallmark and its legendary marketing. We can always honor our parents, we don't a specific day for it but I do not begrudge anyone that day. Now Christmas and Easter, the major ones- these are religious and to an extent sort of myopic, and exclusionist especially when we live in New York, where there are millions of other religions present. I say the same for Jewish religious holidays that are essentially universally celebrated. Religious holidays should be celebrated by those who actually celebrate it. And I don't mean Christians, I mean those Christians who are actually practicing and somehow relate the holiday to their actual religion.

Anyway, I won't criticize the patriotic holidays- like July 4th, Memorial Day and Veterans Day. I like these because its unilateral and we do live in this country under the same set of laws. So we can honor those in the military and independence day. That makes sense. And having day off makes sense.

As for New Years, again I think that is one of those ubiquitous holidays that makes sense. It is a new year for everyone (I know there are some Jewish people who would say different) but for all intents and purposes we all live in a world based on that calendar. Therefore, New Years can be celebrated by everyone and it can have its own subjective meaning for each person. You can remember the past year, you can look forward to the next year. You declare new purposes or quitting of other things. I like it, the general consensus is that it can be cathartic so why not celebrate new beginnings. Its probably the only holiday where we aren't celebrating something that happened thousands of years ago.

Maybe we do have a voice

2009-12-30T23:24:00.001-05:00

As a Christmas present to myself I picked up a copy of "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs" by Chuck Klosterman. A journalist/writer who often appears on the BS Report will Bill Simmons. Since I haven't finished the book I won't give a review now, however, I will provide two quotes that I believe are relevant and pretty fucking cool:

"No woman will ever satisfy me. I know that now, and I would never try to deny it. But this is actually okay, because I will never satisfy a woman, either."

snip

[quoting someone else in the text] ""You know how historians call people who came of age during World War II 'the greatest generation'? No one will ever say that about us," he wrote. "We'll be the cool generation.' That's all were good at and that's all you and your friends aspire to." "

I am not even going to try and expound on it. He is a gifted writer and an amazing observer of everything around him. So far the book is something completely different and really fun to read.

2010- Is this the Future?

2009-12-29T15:24:00.001-05:00

We have now essentially reach the year 2010. And what do we have to show for it? "Back to the Future Part III" would have you believe that we should have flying cars and skateboards by now. But while we have advanced, we really haven't gone that far in the past thirty years. We still all wake up every day, go to work on trains or in our cars (or some other mode of transportation). I know there are some people who can work from home but they are simply a very loud minority (sidenote: these people are kind of dicks because they constantly remind us of how they don't have to go work or they are part of some kind of telemarketing scheme). We eat essentially the same foods, except now we have somehow found a reason to cut out bread for dietary reasons. Everything simply costs more money.

For the most part I can really only provide a short list of great advancements in my lifetime:

1) The internet- I know it existed prior to my birth (or barely- 1980) but without getting into the details, the internet, as presently constituted is pretty amazing. Google has really helped facilitate that since they gave us an amazing access point to the World Wide Web. But if we are going to be honest, the interent has also helped deteriorate some of our social norms and not for the better. People now exist in a completely different world on-line. People perceive interactions through Facebook as real socializing. I am sorry but its not socializing.

2) AIDS- Okay this one is weird, but AIDS is something that started in the late 70's, was a pandemic in the late 80's and 90's and now, its really a disease that isn't at the forefront. I know its a major problem in certain regions of the world. But taking it from the perspective of a modern/western civilization heterosexual guy who doesn't have sex with Brazilian prostitutes, it really isn't a major problem. Especially if you are willing to always wear a condom (or at least wear a condom when you are having sex with a relative stranger). I am going to say, for most normal people, AIDs has been cured. I mean the level of information that has been promulgated over the past twenty years really should have resolved it. I am sorry, and this is not meant to be offensive, but if you recently (and I limit that to recently) contracted HIV, then you are a moron.

3) Barack Obama- I am not going to make this political but even a staunch conservative has to realize the historical significance that this man won the election, whether its good or bad, its amazing that this country has reached a point where they could get charmed by this guy. I am truly amazed that given the undercurrent of racism that still exists throughout this country, the majority of people were able to choose the person who ran the better campaign, seemed smarter and was the better choice than the other choice.

I know there are other things, like cellphones, downloadable music, satellite radio, social media etc...and while some of these things appear to be are revolutionary, they are essentially the natural progression of existing technologies. And that doesn't even take into account how cellphones have become completely obnoxious at this point (I kind of wish I existed in a time when you could actually be out of touch).

What has really been done in the last thirty years (essentially my life time) to make this "the future"?

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T08:06:00.000-05:00

I always judge people on how they respond to the question "What is your favorite holiday"? It normally always comes down to two responses - Christmas or Halloween. The Halloween fanatics are just weird but I don't begrudge them their right to behave like children for one day out of the year. Christmas on the other hand is completely different. Some people can say they love it because its true, they like the spirit of giving, family, the music, the decorations and all of that cliche stuff. But most people like it for one reason- the receiving of gifts. If we are going to be honest, it all goes back to when we are kids. When you are a kid it doesn't come close. Christmas gets you the most days off from school, you get tons of presents and you have absolutely no obligation to go out and buy stuff for people. I am going to sound like a bit of Scrooge here but it is true that the holiday changes as you age. It becomes more and more about everyone else in your life. And now that I am single, I also realize that there is no one who really values what I want for Christmas. It doesn't really bother me but it does change my perception of Christmas. I know that the feeling I used to get as a kid, when I got everything I wanted, will never come back.

The Legal Profession

2009-12-21T12:00:00.000-05:00

I recently came upon bitterlawyer.com and it realy motivated me to write something about the legal profession, since I am a legal professional. Even though I am a relative a novice to the profession, I think I can point out a couple of my initial observations and perceived deficiencies. This is a profession that is run by people who are extraordinarily bright but at the same time these men (and I say specifically men) are egomaniacs. It's difficult to criticize because it is the massive ego that partially gets these guys to where they are. It is the uncanny ability to believe you are right in face of everything saying you are wrong and that belief is based on the way couple of words and sentences are put together in a certain way.

I only bring this up now because as we near the end of the year and in this difficult economy a lot of the hard work I put in will go unrewarded for the most part. I realized that this profession has already cost me a lot and I am only twenty nine years old. It has cost me some personal relationships- a girlfriend of four year, some close friends and the inability to successfully maintain or create new relationships.

I do enjoy my job but its funny how I see that those who have filled the industry over the last forty years are operating on an antiquated and inefficient business model. Billing per hour? Stupid, that can only piss off your clients. Clients can't comprehend how it can take someone x amount of hours to read a document. But sometimes it does because we are reading it with a different point of view then most laymen. Rather then collecting based on hourly rates. Provide them fixed fees for certain things and anything done on an emergency basis should have an additional increased fixed rates that the client can expect when he retains the firm.

Paying exorbitant salaries to kids right of law school? Extraordinarily stupid. You provide hardly any incentive for these kids to create their own book of business or work that hard. And you essentially overpay in order to properly train people. This is one of those areas where one firm decided to overpay for kids from the best schools. I don't understand why all the other firms followed suit. First and second year associates are profit centers but the real profitability comes in the third and fourth years (and beyond) when they can actually handle things on their own. Look at most doctors, even the ones from the best schools, they are not well paid after medical school, they get the money following residency when they are actually have practical training i. Law firms should use this model as it would produce the best possible results. Don't pay for the training, or lack thereof, that law schools provide. Pay them and include as part of the compensation the training you actually provide. This would also allow you to maintain the best possible talent. There are plenty of kids who come out of good schools that are awful lawyers. By creating a rubrix where these kids are paid to generously out of school, they lose a lot of the motivation to rise up the ladder. They have marginal increases in salary and exponential increases in responsibility. Not to mention the fact, the need to build their own client relationships is essentially nullified.

There are an infinite amount of Firms that are run by committee? Absolutely ridiculous, you can have committee but ultimately one or two guys should make all the decisions. Especially considering the kind of egomaniacs who are lawyers, they would hardly ever defer or want to defer to multiple colleagues. I won't even discuss the clear sexism and racism that pervades the industry in a very cryptic manner.

In the end, this economic crisis may bring about a lot of these changes. But I think I need to be out on my own in order to really make this profession profitable. It has such potential to be a profitable business but no one really takes advantage of it in the proper way.

MTV FInally Did It

2009-12-08T23:48:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend I had the privilege, no, the honor of watching the two, yes two, hour premier of the Jersey Shore. All I can say is it is truly remarkable. I have to give MTV credit, even though they are profiting from the exploitation of these people who are clearly mentally challenged, they have created what might be the funniest and most compelling reality television ever made.

The "Jersy Shore" is truly a fascinating social commentary on a small group in this country. This small group has slowly evolved over the last 30 years but this show demonstrates that while their appearances have changed slightly, for the most part they are the same. I don't think people have a full comprehension of this "guido culture". he characters/personalities on the show are amazing, even if it is a little contrived, because the bottom line is that any exaggeration for the camera probably isn't that much of an exaggeration. I could probably sit here and write about this show for days. These people have no comprehension of the world outside of their own. And I really doubt whether they can realistically function in any way possible, outside of their conclave. And what is really amazing, is that this culture has gone beyond New York and New Jersey. One of these kids is actually from Rhode Island and another is from upstate New York. It's one thing when you are raised in that environment, its another thing when someone willingly becomes a part of it when nothing that surrounds would compel you to do it.

To the extent that most people realize that the show is meant to expose and ridicule these kids, as opposed to glorify them, this show is fantastic. And I do think that is what is happening. However, the next step is to make people realize that these shows involving the uber rich kids are not meant to celebrate those kids, rather, it should be to expose and embarass them. There was a time in this country when people who had money understood that there is a certain level of privacy that should go along with that. But we'll take this small social victory and go with it. And I know that these kids will get some celebrity out of this show but that is fine. I don't think anything they can do can all of a sudden make this popular by any stretch of the imagination.

I have to be honest, the Jersey Shore is absolutely compelling and while its a sad commentary on that culture/society, it actually exists and is extraordinarily entertaining.

Cash Moves Everything Around Me

2009-12-05T11:01:00.000-05:00

As I progress in my career and in age I realize how things are dramatically changing. I remember the end of the year used to be something I looked forward to. As a child I knew that Christmas was coming and I was going to get gifts and spend time with my family. When I was in school it would mean the end of the semester and I could relax a little. Even when I worked at the restaurant, it would be the time of year when I would get some extra cash because we were so busy and I always knew that January would be a dead time of year.

Now things are dramatically different. As a lowly associate at a mid-sized firm I have very little to look forward to. The end of the year is often hectic because clients want to get everything finished. I also know that given the economy my economic incentives at the end of the year are going to be greatly reduced. As a result the immense amount of work I have done over the past 12 months will essentially go unrewarded and further cement the fact that I am being paid virtually nothing given the amount of hours that I put in (see the Bitter Lawyer for a better idea of how someone like me lives).

But that is the funny part, that is all a professional has to look forward to- cash. That is it. Someone can bullshit you and tell you its about spending time with your family or the holiday season. ITS NOT! The end of the year for professionals is about two things (i) the Raise; and (ii) the Bonus. If either are seriously diminished then everything else is just stressful. It's sad because that is a product of people getting obscene amounts of money and others expecting the same thing.

Tiger

2009-12-02T11:16:00.001-05:00

I just read this apology/veiled confession by Tiger Woods regarding his infidelities. I'm left with one impression- the media (and we by extension for following it) has over done it. It's odd because when they discuss guys like Kennedy or Mickey Mantle, people lovingly describe their weaknesses and infidelities in an sympathetic manner.

Now when you hear these stories about Bill Clinton, Alex Rodriguez or even Tiger Woods, there is an anger and an enmity about it. The media has a thirst for tearing down iconic figures and it goes beyond journalistic integrity, it seems to me like the people writing these stories enjoy the whole thing. These guys are public figures, that doesn't put them beyond reproach or somehow make them saints. However, their private mistakes, that is judgments they make outside the scope of their celebrity should not be public fodder. I know people can argue that it is simply because there are people interested in it. But that isn't a thirst or need for knowledge, that's jealousy and voyeurism. Everyone has a fascination into the private machinations of public figures and celebrities. That doesn't mean that the curiosity is by any means justifiable.

I am also curious to see celebrity sex tapes or that bizarre Erin Andrews video but those aren't considered viable news stories by the main stream media (at least the contents of such tapes). If the personal matters somehow affects the person with respect to his profession, then it can be considered relevant. However, infidelity and marital problems really have no bearing on how a man plays golf so it really is the lowest form of voyeurism in that it is shrouded by alleged journalism, which it isn't.

Our Greatest Fears

2009-12-01T21:46:00.000-05:00

It is funny that as you grow older your ability to analyze other people improves but it seems like your ability to be really introspective diminishes because you are less willing to change.

Take for example the perpetual bachelor. He gets to a certain point when he knows that he wants something more substantive but the fear of change and losing control prevents him from actually doing something about it.

Or what I often notice is people staying with people out of fear of the alternative. When you are with someone for a long a time you become accustomed to being with someone. It doesn't necessarily mean that you should be with that person, or with anybody at all, it just means that you don't like the idea of being alone. I think that is often what leads women to cheat, because they don't necessarily want to leave their significant others but they know they don't like being with them either. So they need the security of another person.

You see guys are normally different animals. I realize that I don't necessarily like being with someone. I actually prefer being alone (which is troubling at times but I know its the truth about myself so is that necessarily negative?) but I like being with certain people. I was with someone for four years and it felt right but in the end it didn't work out. And my first instinct wasn't to find another warm body. Rather, I can't seem to find someone that fits (and often I'm not that willing to give them a try. But I do see friends that stay in toxic relationships for fear that they will be by themselves. I can't imagine that and I feel like its again a product of our current culture. We need to be constantly stimulated and constantly pampered. Therefore, we can't possibly not have a boyfriend or girlfriend. We can't possibly be on the internet and not be engaged in some kind of social networking, whether it be for work, for pleasure or passing time.

Sometimes, I just like to sit by myself and read a book. Sometimes I like those moments of silence when you wake up and contemplate what you are going to do on your Saturday off. I guess I am a dieing breed.

Amateur Night

2009-11-25T14:50:00.000-05:00

Ah as I am closing in on thirty years of age I have become much more introspective about my past exploits. Someone asked me what I am doing tonight, to which I replied in disgust that it was Wednesday. I realize there is a four day weekend starting tomorrow but forgive me I have literally been in my office non-stop for close to three weeks (except for my birthday day off/night out). So when I realized why the question was being asked, it had occurred to me how much disdain I have for Thanksgiving Eve. And for nights spend at Webster Hall, doing things to my body which just shouldn't be done.

My theory is that these nights are amateur nights. I know I sound like a curmudgeon but hardly anyone has a good time on these nights. Going out on this night means you run into every person in the tri-state area. I'm not even qualifying that number, you will run into everyone, you may not realize it but you will run into every douche you can imagine. This is without a doubt one of the worst nights to go out unless you have planned it to a tee. And even then, the people who didn't plan normally mangle things. This is your typical Thanksgiving Eve when you are in college-
"Where we going?",

"Place X

"You have tickets?"

"Dude I know a guy, get us a limo..."

Disaster would always ensue. We would overpay for everything and the only people who would have a good time were those who were tripping on ecstasy because it was essentially impossible and financially prohibitive to get wasted. Those were the good times.

Now I hear Thanksgiving Eve and all I can do is roll my eyes. And again my hypocrisy sets in because in about an hour I'll be home and I'll start contemplating going somewhere.

The Bouncer- the dumbest business manager ever

2009-11-18T11:17:00.000-05:00

I have to give credit to Bill Simmons and I said this a couple of months ago, the current proprietors of New York City night life are attempting to end the casual night out. This past Friday I went out for my birthday with a large group of my friends. Get ready to gasp, there were 9 guys ready to go in. Yes, anyone who goes out in NY knows nine guys without a girls is a recipe for rejection. Now let me paint the real picture. There were nine of us, all with relatively full wallets ready to do some binge drinking and spend money. There was a Nor Easter passing through New York at the time, so it was slightly cold with a steady mist of rain falling. We had just been out to dinner in the same neighborhood and the streets were rather abandoned considering that it was a Friday night on a non travel/holiday weekend. Everyone in this group was dressed appropriately and the no one was fall down drunk when we arrived at this place.

Now, I'm pretty easy going, when we arrived no one was out in front and it was just a bouncer. Now this place which I won't refer to by name, is essentially a trendy restaurant in a trendy neighborhood in a shitty building I was anticipating the normal routine of shaking us down to get a table. This guy wasn't even going to attempt to try and push a table on us. He essentially told me that there is no way he can let ten guys in at one time. I explained that I was meeting a group of girls in there and he insisted I call them out. So I called my friend who happened be in there and even when she came out, he still wouldn't allow us in. At this point I walked away and took probably $2000 out of the hands of the owners of that establishment. We ended up hopping around to a couple of different places, for quite a while so we did spend a good deal of money.

I am going to say this- that place, I have been there before- not that impressive. And let me qualify, nice restaurant and some good food and even a pretty cool scene. However, in my mind I would have never expected this exclusive/trendy kind of attitude. Seriously, to try pull of this Studio 54 door attitude has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever seen. I mean really, I can understand when a place like the 1 Oak does this, I mean for god's sakes, Derek Jeter went there to celebrate winning the World Series.

On the contrary, at the disaster in Tribeca, it was around 12:30 and no one was there. I'm not even exaggerating, literally the streets were abandoned. The girl that came out to meet me said the place was dead empty. Are you starting to see the problem here? The premise of not allowing guys in is essentially the appearance that there are only guys in the place and therefore "sausage fests" are usually not "cool". You also want to demonstrate some exclusivity, but that only works if there are other people around to see you actually exclude. That business strategy fails miserable when the place is empty, no one is on line and no one is there to be scared off by a group of 10 guys. I don't judge the bouncer, who clearly is not the brightest guy (this one was a large African American man who might have been wearing eye liner) and is given explicit instructions but doesn't really comprehend the full dimensions of his job. If I own that business and we are going through a difficult economy and its an off night, the way it was, maybe I don't let that guy (again not the brightest guy) be the ultimate judge of who comes in and who doesn't. I'll wager that they didn't make up the difference financially on not letting us in. Perhaps I would have told him, you need to allow some people in or work with some of the guys because if it appears that no one is coming in, then lets just take the B&T guys money.

I have a prediction, this style of establishment and this method will fail miserably in the next couple years. As these rich kids and NYC tourists start to fall away due to the lack of money, these places will become dinosaurs. And you know what, its the right thing. I can actually afford to do these ridiculous types of nights at the lounges. But I find it all offensive. It's fine when its three or four places around the city. But when you have non-descript shit holes/restaurants trying to pull this, it has gone too far. Welcome back dingy dive bar, in the end that is where the real people show up!

The Price of Fame

2009-11-16T15:31:00.000-05:00

I know a lot of people would look down upon this type of behavior, but I find it encouraging. Perhaps this will send a lesson to those reality "stars" and celebrities who constantly flaunt their wealth and are in constant need of attention. A little humility can go a long way. At least these kids (who are apparently not even of drinking age) actually had to do something thinking to determine who would be home so that they could pilfer these so called celebrities homes. Now while I wouldn't endorse burglary or any other crime, at least these kids sat down watched reality televsion and did something productive. Thats a good sign and I can't find any sympathy in my heart for Audrina Patridge (though she is dope).

Weed

2009-11-16T14:45:00.000-05:00

It's funny how a lot of social commentators blast the media and say that political correctness has gone too far. I can see that phenomenon certain situations but its limited, being offensive should be something that is done right and when done right can be extraordinarily funny but when done wrong can be a disaster. However, in light of the election of the current President, I am starting to see that the baby boomer generation and generation x are really starting to knock down some inefficient social norms and tendencies that are not of value but rather the left over reactions of their parents and their parents parent.

For example, I read this today. I find it interesting because the weed and essentially the illegality of all drugs are a product of social norms. It can't be said that they are illegal because we have a need to protect society, if that were the case then any substance that could harm you would be illegal. Well maybe not any substance, but tobacco (nicotine) and alcohol would make a quick first list if we were evaluating something that is completely recreational and extraordinarily harmful. This relaxation of the taboo against weed, is a sign of change and progress. That we as a society are starting to realize that some social norms have a utility to them and some of them are just vestiges of the past and more importantly grounded in ignorance. It's like mainstream acceptance/acknowledgment of porn actresses, the commercialization of hip hop and the movement and acceptance for gay rights. I just hope the progress doesn't end with the baby boomer generation, that as I get older, my generation sees the value of evolution.

The Big Picture

2009-11-12T09:25:00.000-05:00

About two weeks ago I received a text message that a former colleague had slipped into a coma as a result of his six month battle with cancer. He was 33 years old, a father and a husband. I don't have much to say, but he was truly a good person. I work in a profession where there are a lot of bad people so when I met a good person, like Brian, I was immediately drawn closer to him as a friend. He was one of those guys who took his job seriously but never let it get to him. And all of that can be tough. In the end he was diagnosed with an aggressive form of stomach cancer in May and after fighting as hard as he could, his body gave out. I went to the wake and I saw his poor parents, his wife and his son (age six). I never considered myself an emotional person, but as I approached his casket, I was slightly overwhelmed.

The reason I bring it up is it shows you how absolutely meaningless some of the things we lament are. I've been torn up about an ex-girlfriend for almost two years now. To the point where I am ambivalent about getting into another relationship. But think about this poor woman (Brian's wife), the found the person she loved, spent several years with him, has a child as a constant reminder of him but now she finds herself without him. It's just so permanent and frightening. I have no moral or clever conclusion for this post, all I can say (and its a drastic cliche) is sometimes things get put into perspective and life is just too short.

The Sense of Entitlement

2009-11-05T00:19:00.000-05:00

I met a kid the other day who has essentially been unemployed for his entire adult life. To clarify he has had a certain seasonal job but the amount of pay he actually gets from that probably equals a newspaper route. He essentially has had no responsibility for the first 25 years of his life. So I happen to see him the other day and he says he is going out on job interviews, so I wished him good luck. He seemed appropriately nervous and anxious about the whole thing. The next time I saw him, I asked him how they went. He then reverted back to the guy who was unemployed for 25 years. He complained that they wanted him to work for free (not literally), so essentially a guy with no tangible skills or work history had salary expectations. It is astounding but it has essentially become the normal standard (with varying degrees) for people my age. These grand expectations that things will be handed to them. I've seen in it my office, I've seen it in school and I've even seen it in the restaurants I worked in when I was younger.

Its a product of being spoiled and too many of us listening to our parents and television giving a fantasy perspective on how the world works. Those hard work montages you see in the movies are supposed to demonstrate a long lapse of time, not three weeks!

Insanity Of Politics

2009-10-28T07:10:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you read something and realize that there are some wacky people out there with political beliefs that go beyond anything reasonable. I know people are passionate in their beliefs but its amazing how its 2009 and people can still threaten the death of political figures over a concept like abortion which has now been "legal" for almost 40 years. I am not a staunch supporter of abortion but I realize that it has become a part of our society and our culture. There are a lot of reasons to fight it, but in the end people should realize that its happening and whether we like it or not, its better that its done in the current circumstances than what was done the previous 1000 years. And just like anything its a work in progress. I don't think we have come to the point in our society where anyone can have an abortion and they do it without any consequences. Sure, there are those couples you see on Jerry Springer who treat abortions like having candy, but in the end they are still the abnormal pariahs in our current structure. No one celebrates them and they are essentially circus freaks. I really find it odd that we still have people who dedicate their lives to this issue when its become clear that its not changing.

Not to mention the fact that there are an inordinate amount of people now a days have unplanned pregnancies who are the exact kind of people who shouldn't be having kids. I think we all can agree that not everyone has the kind of genetic makeup we want to last for a long time.

Stay Classy Panama

2009-10-26T10:02:00.000-04:00

Every once in a while sports provides moments of pure joy and reality. Last night I got to see the New York Yankees win the 2009 American League Championship. To be honest it is now the seventh time I am seeing but like they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. It's been a while since they have been this successful and as I get older I have learned to really appreciate what I saw ten years ago. I know it sounds corny but watching it now makes me feel like I'm eighteen years old again but with a much better appreciation of what is happening. Like so many things in this world, my co-Yankee fans are the complete opposite. They have grown spoiled and complacent about the team, about a source of entertainment, that considering sports teams, has been amazingly successful. It's yet another sign that we aren't thoughtful. We can only consume and really have no understanding of our greed.

With all that being said, last night was amazing because the end of the game highlighted one of those people that really allow the moment to be appreciated. Mariano Rivera, I won't explain who he is because I can give his name or legacy justice in this small of a space, finished the game with a strikeout. That pitch earned the Yankees a trip to the World Series, it was a momentous occasion. He smiled, pumped his fist and behaved just like he always behaves after every win, until Jorge Posada came out and embraced him, when the smile got bigger. It was a moment that two men, who have never really been in the media spot light for the wrong reasons and from most appearances are committed family men, enjoyed a moment that only they can understand and they enjoyed it in a totally humble and classy way.

The Bright Side

2009-10-20T11:59:00.001-04:00

So that I'm never accused of being a completely negative sort of person I will say there is one positive thing that has come from my generation's infatuation with itself- blogging. The only people who I have ever heard complain about blogging are mainstream print journalists. Why? Because they feel challenged by something that doesn't have half of the restrictions that they do. The "mainstream media" has a bottom line, while most bloggers are simply doing it out of their love of the subject matter (whether it be sports, politics, news, cooking, gossip, subways, etc...), that kind of passion can often produce something really fantastic and amazing. All of these blogs are amazing testaments to their creators creativity, intelligence and oddly their incredible ego.

I have realized that doing this is extraordinarily difficult, especially when you have a job and another life going on. (Please note I am not complimenting myself because this is in a sense a public journal that I maintaining that has very little substance or followers). But some of these blogs have passionate people behind them that put a lot of effort into all of it. Only someone from my generation could believe that their opinions on a subject matter are that important that they should be available to the world! Its egotistical but the end result is a challenge to mainstream media and the availability of more ideas and more resources.

So there are some normal people left....

2009-10-08T12:32:00.001-04:00

My criticism of MTV and the "reality shows" that derive from there has been established. I believe them to be the epitome of our failure of our generation. They have zero value and I defer Mr. Kurt Soller whose description is much more precise and severe.

Haunting

2009-10-06T13:48:00.000-04:00

How long can someone from your past haunt you? Is that normally gender specific or is it something that depends on the person and the circumstances? I know some of these seem like easy questions but if you take a moment to think about it, it isn't easy. There are random people you come across in life that leave an impact and sometimes its completely unintentional. And then there are those people who have absolutely no meaning whatsoever. And normally, the meaning for one person is never the same for the other. I wonder given our current level of social networking and ease it is to find someone and the difficulty it takes to disappear, will it become that much harder to let the memories from the past fade into the ether?

The Gender Stereotypes

2009-10-03T08:08:00.000-04:00

I find it funny that as much as society has progressed with getting rid of stereotypes and caste system of the professional world for men and women, how people limit themselves within those stereotypes when it suits them.

I work with nothing but middle aged married men and the picture they paint sometimes is just gruesome. They seem to be content with a life of misery and secrecy, especially with respect to their wives. Some of them even seem resentful of their own children. But what amazes me is the stereotype of women and their need for committed relationships and marriage. I am ready to say that the whole high end divorce rate now a days is attributable almost entirely women. Women put this massive pressure on themselves and the on the men they date in order to get to a point in life that they believe will make them happy. The only catch becomes you are now making permanent decisions based on the stereotype that women are meant to get married and have kids.

I think a lot of modern women, missed the whole point of women's liberation movement. It was meant to release you of the burden that there were maternal expectations of every woman out there.

The Choices of Life

2009-10-01T09:01:00.000-04:00

You know when I am watching Mad Men I realize the vast differences in how times have changed since the 1960's and now. Some changes are for the better and some are for the worse. For example women's role in our culture is vastly different which is a good thing, no one should ever be stifled or stereotyped like that on an institutional level.

But one thing that I did notice is the level of saturation of choices from one generation to another. Its truly amazing with the advent of the internet how many choices there truly are. And it's not just entertainment, its retail shopping, its romantic encounters, its business opportunities, job listings, social networking, how to guides, etc... The world has truly changed as a result of something that has become second nature in our generation. But I wonder if we lost something in that simplicity. You met a girl at work, went out on a date and three years later you were married. The option of meeting someone "online" that is literally matched with what you would presumably like was something that never happened. You only were matched by other people who essentially had only their own subjective opinion about what you would and should be attracted to. Is it artificial or is is efficient? If you wanted to buy something, you went to the store and bought it. You didn't shop around online and tried to find it or an imitation of it. When you lost touch with someone, you lost touch with them and only by coincidence would you run into them again. Now you have facebook where its all contrived and forced. There was a randomness and spontaneity back then that I think is all gone. I can "google" anything and essentially find it.

I'm not ready to pass judgment on it but I just thought it was something interesting to think about. I know there are a million positive things that arise from it but I wonder if they outweigh the net effect of it all.

Getting old

2009-09-27T08:40:00.000-04:00

This isn't something that is on topic with the blog but no one reads this so who cares. I am coming to grips with the fact that I'm getting old. I'll be thirty in a little more than a year. And its funny because things start happening after your twenty five that make it obvious that things are changing. First sign is having a steady job where you get into the routine of working. The next sign is when all of your friends start getting married. Sadly, the other day I found out the real sign- I got word that someone I went to high school with that I lost touch with had passed away from cancer. It does make you realize how unbelievably meaningless some of the everyday trials and tribulations are. I happen to know another person who I had previously worked with who is now at death's door. He is only thirty two years old and he is about to leave behind his wife and kids. I can't even imagine what he thinks every day. I am so polluted by my surroundings that I can't even contemplate my mortality, let alone prioritize what's important. All these thoughts I have about money and random girls, would they all just fade away. All of this stuff is just so conditioned that its hard to just tune it out.

Material World

2009-09-24T23:41:00.000-04:00

As Madonna said it, "we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl". With that in mind I have to admit this world has become obsessed with money. I mean a couple of months back when I was introduced to a girl on a semi-date she actually asked me how much I make. This was the first time I had met this girl and we had been having a normal conversation but then she turned to that. I thought at the time it was unbelievable rude and was immediately turned off. But now that I think about it, I give that girl credit. That practice of not discussing money when out of style a long time ago and I think now we have evolved or devolved into a state where people almost want full disclosure of the others financial history. I have to say it lacks substance and emotion but it is so much more practical when I see these attractive women that limit their scope to men who have money. It really is remarkable and they should use it as a motivational tool in high schools throughout the country.

The Bottomline of Trendy

2009-09-17T17:27:00.000-04:00

Being that I am a corporate attorney a couple of things have taken over my personality ever since I started working. When I walk into a situation I try and imagine the balance sheet and the underlying liabilities and overhead. So this past weekend I went to a place downtown called the "Backroom" and I had a lot of those business/lawyerly instincts. The theme of the place is a 1920's gin joint during the prohibition era so they have the furniture and decor (at least for someone without a rudimentary understanding of the period). The real gimmick is the method of serving the drink- coffee cups with saucers and beers enclosed in paper bags.

The place was absolutely packed and you could tell the attractiveness of the whole place was the whole theme amplified by the method of serving drinks. I have to tell you I give these guys credit because the reality is that it costs them probably less to serve the drinks in these cups (less volume in each drink and less overhead for buying stemware) and they probably get a much mellower trendier crowd who can appreciate this type of concept. And when I say mellower/trendier I mean a crowd with more money to spend and less of a risk of any commotion.

Made me think why I couldn't have one of those ideas or concepts and then I really thought why couldn't I have the money to get one of those ideas off the ground. The amazing part is how people rush in for the gimmick. There is absolutely no practicality to any of this. There are a million places in New York that have ten times better service, ten times more space, better prices and they serve drinks out of normal glasses. But we will all rush for the trend or to be ahead of the trend. We'll try and cram ourselves into that one place where we heard Lindsay Lohan showed up. And as Bill Simmons mentioned we have lost sight of the casual night out and essentially priced out most people from the "cool" night life and I use that term cool very loosely.

the New Cemetary

2009-09-17T14:40:00.000-04:00

With a lot of celebrities dieing recently and excessive coverage of those deaths I noticed something new- the Facebook phenomenon has also taken over memorializing the dead. The recent death of Patrick Swayze led to hundreds of updates from people I have as "facebook friends" paying their condolences to Swayzee. I mean really? Is it necessary to voice how upset you are about Michael Jackson on Facebook? Maybe I'm just soulless or oblivious but if I wasn't getting paid for it, I probably wouldn't spend two seconds thinking about some random celebrity dieing. Usually when people die its a somber sad moment. Not a time to post something that allows a comment or someone to give it the thumbs up.

And that leads to the next point. One of my cousins decided that posting things about the death of her father was appropriate on Facebook. I thought she was out of her mind but then I noticed people sending their condolences as a result. When did this happen? Five years ago, if you had a friend who lost a close familial relationship, wouldn't you pick up the phone and dial and speak to them?

Here is a great link, not really on point but how ridiculous social networking

Derek Jeter

2009-09-10T12:14:00.000-04:00

I am a passionate sports fan but I feel as though fans have gotten carried away with commenting and analysis on the internet. So I do this only because I feel as though its culturally relevant. Derek Jeter has been in the NY spotlight for the last 14 years and he has flourished. The guy has been beloved and worshiped. And he has never had one hiccup. He has never been in trouble, he has lived the life everyone would want to live if you have money, fame and more importantly talent. He is a blast from the past. I don't know the guy personally but every impression you get is that he is extraordinarily grounded. Its amazing but what is really amazing is that in our current status, its that part of his persona that gets more attention then his actual talent. As a baseball player (who hasn't been linked to any PED)the guy has been amazing just within the limited scope of playing baseball. But we need to qualify and analyze in this day in age in order to properly put into place where he belongs. Just appreciate the fact that he is a great baseball player.

The Money Shot

2009-09-07T07:54:00.000-04:00

I was reading this article in Details and I started laughing to myself as the content hit home on some of my recent dating experiences. The article essentially discusses kids from ages 15-22 now have a very different perspective regarding sex as a result of the internet and how porn has become very mainstream as a result of the internet.

Now the reason I giggled is that in my recent single days I have had some experiences with girls who are a little bit younger than me (lets say age 22-25) and let me say some of these girls have been completely mislead about what is attractive or sexy in the bedroom. It's actually a disaster. Let me explain, every guy has the porn fantasy and sometimes the situation and circumstances will fit that scenario perfectly. For example, if you go out and get ossified and meet some girl at a bar and things get a little nuts that's fine. I would never judge anyone in that situation. Now on the other hand, lets say you go on a date and you seemingly meet this really nice girl who appears to potentially be girlfriend material. Then you get home and they start spitting on things and making sound effects and saying some vile things. My reaction to the latter- laughter. I can't take it seriously because it's like I'm watching an imitation of something I saw three days before on Redtube or YouPorn.

I'm sorry, I can't believe (its not that I can't be aroused by it) and I don't want to make this graphic, but I don't care how damaged a girl is, no girl enjoys having a guy finish on their face. No girl enjoys gagging themselves on male genitalia. Yes, there are girls who are willing to do that but you had earn that kind of conduct. Now guys enjoy it regularly from these women who have been damaged by the proliferation of porn. But we should be honest, the only reason we enjoy it is its demeaning to women and somewhat empowering. It used to be that you had a girlfriend for a while and you could play out these scenarios in some kind of fantasy reward kind of thing. And usually it took a couple of weeks of convincing and conditioning. Girls didn't just naturally turn into porn stars. Most porn stars are porn stars because they are extraordinarily damaged (most likely molested) and I'm extremely skeptical that even they like any of that stuff.

This is just another example of because of the excess we have (in this case internet porn) , something has been ruined that back in the day and probably was better. When I was in high school and college there were those handful of girls that you heard about that were freaks. Now apparently were headed to that being the standard. I don't know, call me sentimental or old fashioned but porn sex can be as comedic as it is erotic, especially when you're experiencing it first hand. Most porn actors are bad actors and therefore the lines and concepts disseminated therefrom are not very believable. Maybe its crazy but I would like to think we could just go back to acting natural and if you are a freak, you are a freak but if you aren't then just be honest.

Vegas Nightlife- Bill Simmons

2009-09-05T14:32:00.001-04:00

Sometimes others can describe something a little better than you can. Now I don't have the same perspective (because of the age difference and different backgrounds) but its funny and interesting, from Bill Simmons:

"Here's why I know I am now old: The current nightclub scene eludes me. As far as I can tell, our goal (if we were single) would be to somehow get a booth, then order $500 bottles with mixers, then see whether we can lure girls over to the booth to talk to us, drink from our $500 bottles and possibly give/get an STD. For the females (if single), their goal is to find a booth of unsuspecting marks, flirt with the guys, drink from their $500 bottles, make it seem as though something might happen and then either flee the premises or give/get an STD. And everyone is fine with this arrangement. It's apparently fun.

My three issues: First, the current system prices out nearly everyone who relies on casual sex (guys between 22 and 32). Second, I'm surprised Pure hasn't printed enough money by now to buy the Grizzlies. What a racket. And third, whatever happened to just going to a crowded bar and buying people shots and beers? Am I that old? Is this how parents in the late '60s felt when pot and Woodstock and acid and mushrooms started taking off? I don't get your tattoos! I don't get your $500 bottle nightclubs! I'm old. I'm old. Did I mention I'm old?"

Bill Simmons is a really talented sports/comedy/satire writer. I highly recommend reading his columns and listening to his podcasts, he is right now the best thing ESPN has to offer.

We Made Rich Cool

2009-08-29T17:31:00.000-04:00

So when I was in Vegas I started reading this book "Less than Zero" by Bret Easton Ellis. He has a curious writing style but I found the subject matter even more interesting. The book essentially describes ultra rich kids from LA in the early 80's and their disaffection with life because of the excesses they had consumed from such an early age. It does not paint a pretty picture of these kids.

The book got me to thinking. My generation will become essentially the first generation in a century that idealized those who are rich. Now let me qualify, there are plenty of rich people or groups that have been awesome throughout the past. But when you read the Outsiders or watch one of those bad eighties movies its always the poor kids who have the edge on the rich spoiled brats.

All you see on TV and in print are people who love to flaunt how much money they have. Again, this is one of those areas where I am a hypocrite, because while I complain and look upon it in horror, in the end, it makes the most sense. We are greedy, want to consume everything and there really shouldn't be any apologies about it. But I do appreciate a time when people with money had some class and humility about it. To me that is so much cooler than what we have evolved into now.

Now the major distinction between this coked up generation and the coked up Wall Street 80's type is that we want it handed and spoon fed to us. We don't even want to cheat for it, let alone actually work for it. It somehow is sheik to have your parents pay for everything, without any embarrassment at all. My father paid for my lunch the other day and it made me uncomfortable, so at least I have retained something. I am a greedy son of a bitch and I can't wait till I have some fuck u money but its going to be on my hustle that I earn it.

Anyway, the book is pretty good so go get it, at least it's thought provoking.

Kids? Really?

2009-08-27T17:12:00.000-04:00

At some point in the last ten years a lot of people, especially women, lost sight of the fact that modern medicine has made it much easier to breed at ages beyond thirty. I think people also have a misconception of about having children and what arises from it. Don't get me wrong I love kids and I think they are wonderful and exciting and while I can't fully comprehend it, I understand the joy that comes from having them. Now with all of that said, I have never felt compelled to have one of my own. Some people cant comprehend that. The way I see it, fifty years ago people had children because society said that was the ultimate goal. But you see back then, divorce wasn't prevalent, gay people weren't permitted to be gay, women didn't go to college or have careers, which leads me to my point, back then people gave everything for their kids but that was because in the end, they had to. Some parents did it naturally, because they truly loved those kids. Some people did it because there were simply no other choices. But there are plenty examples of people who suffered because their parents were clearly ill equipped or prepared to be parents. Its a massive responsibility.

I thought we had reached a point where that cultural burden had begun to disappear. But I still see it, women especially feeling as though they need to have children in order to add meaning to their lives. As if the years they spent in school developing a livelihood and a career isn't enough, children are somehow still perceived as the final piece of the puzzle. The funny part is, is that a lot of these people do not understand the strain on a relationship when you finally do have a kid. Kids always put a strain on things because typically you have a relationship where one person provides all of the affection for the other. When the kid comes, guess what, a lot of that affection and love gets pulled away and the person who came to expect it is too immature to understand it and as a result becomes jealous of an infant. And that jealousy or anger can't realistically be taken out on the kid, so its transposed on the other adult.

You see its all a vicious circle but its funny because with all of this knowledge and flexibility in front of us, I hear the same kind of story. "You shouldn't be with a girl for too long because its misleading."; "I need to be married by the time I am X age"; "You shouldn't have kids when you're too old". These are all simply vestiges of a different time and they can do nothing but damage to both the parents and child. Lets be honest when you have a kid in these days you should be 100% about having that kid. It shouldn't be some kind of preconceived date or concept. I would almost favor those who have children completely accidentally. At least they usually comprehend the severity of their act prior to the birth of the kid, as opposed to these other clowns who just say by the time I am 28 Ill have X amount of kids. They have the first kid and realize the disaster that comes and then the really bizarre thing is that have a second kid thinking things should get straightened out.

Vegas Crews

2009-08-27T08:52:00.000-04:00

I realized something this weekend. Friendships are delicate things that often need time to develop. You meet a lot of people along the way. As you get older you realize that as much as you think someone is in sync with you when you first meet them, certain experiences can have an impact on the evolution and continuing friendship or relationship.

Take for example any vacation. This past week I went to Vegas with a large group of kids, who for the most part I considered friends, not great friends, not acquaintances but simply friends. In the end I walked away knowing they are still are my friends, but my opinion of them changes slightly. A lot of my original instincts were true. Its funny how this generation has altered what is cool. Twenty years ago when Nirvana and that Seattle scene took over, no one was this happy. No one tried to manufacture moments or friendships. I dont want to seem disaffected but you see things on facebook or people send you emails with photos of their vacations and it gives this false appearance. All of these moments are for the most part contrived and forced because we want to give the appearance of happiness. You see the cool kids, the really cool people, let those moments come to them naturally and now a days its hard to really see that because we have become so good at fooling ourselves.

the Beatles

2009-08-11T09:23:00.001-04:00

I got in the car last night and since I didn't have my Ipod I flipped on the radio. The Yankee game was over so I tried listening to some FM radio. Fortunately the first preset I hit was 104.3, one of the last two rock radio stations left in New York. Now just as a disclaimer, I like a wide variety of music so my Ipod has a wide assortment of things on it. The song that happened to be on the radio was the Beatles "Come Together". It blows my mind that there was a time when you can get into your car and that was the music that was playing.

Now we have "the worst song ever". And its actually popular.

The End of Civilized Society

2009-08-05T16:07:00.000-04:00

I seem to watch a lot of bad television or come across some of these awful reality shows. Yesterday I was over a friend's apartment and she put on MTV (which really should be the focus of my anger) where we watched a couple of minutes of the Paris Hilton show. The premise of the show is for people to try to become her best friend. I have to be honest we didn't really watch, its just served as background noise, so maybe I'm off here. But the fact this is girl is famous and has received the level of attention that she actually has blows my mind. And the fact that people would actually put themselves through any kind of discomfort in order to spend time with her spells only one thing-Armageddon. I realize I am being dramatic but the contestants all appeared to be women and gay men. Think about it, the only reason she really got famous or mainstream was because she was on a sex tape. Now I don't know if she has any interests in women but from her past exploits she is into dudes. I could understand if it was a dating show and some guys were trying to get into her pants and of course her wallet. But just to be her friend??? Really?

I know a lot of people have said that in the past but really this is an appeal to those who are my age and younger, this woman is at some point going to be identified with our generation's place in history. We owe it to ourselves to have have her ruin herself Dana Plato style and just absolutely run herself into the ground. She isn't extraordinarily bright, she isn't that pretty and she has no describable talent, at least with respect to entertainment. And I will say this- being an asshole on TV by flaunting how rich you are doesn't make you entertaining and it sure as hell doesn't provide you with a talent. All it can be is something to watch.

The Hills

2009-07-31T10:11:00.000-04:00

I have to be honest, I know a lot of people have criticized this show and the people who "portray" themselves on it. I had no issue with it. To me no one should be offended by it since the premise that any of it was in fact reality is akin to believing that the WWE isn't scripted. It simply is bad acting (which is remarkable considering they are supposed to be themselves). However my apathy changed the other day when a friend of mine told me she was in the midst of reading the "Lauren Conrad" book. To explain, my friend is a bright young woman, who happens to be an attorney and is rather sophisticated, at least with respect to certain things. So it boggled my mind that someone like that had actually spent money to read something that this girl had written. What could she possibly have written? I mean I know she has a built in demographic for 12-16 year old girls growing up in the midwest. But a 28 year old woman, living in Manhattan, has Lauren Conrad really spread this far?

Its one thing to create that television show, which I will admit I have seen. In fact on a couple of those Sundays when I have been curled up on the couch recovering from a rough Saturday, I have actually sat there and been enthralled by a marathon of the Hills and Laguna Beach. I could never begrudge anyone that kind of mindless entertainment. But really? really? She wrote a fucking book?

So I had to look the thing up...I thought it was one of these how too books, or perhaps a short picture book that explains her opinions on fashion....nope....its a novel. Yep, a full fledged fiction novel (from the description it appears to be loosely based on her life). Could you imagine what some starving author is thinking out there when he sees this in the front of Barnes and Nobles? What if there is an apocalyptic event and the most of the world's population is wiped out and a few thousand years from now people or aliens look through the rubble and they find "LA Candy"?

Mad Men

2009-07-29T11:22:00.001-04:00

I am a huge Mad Men fan. I can't wait for the season to start on August 16. I have to say it is easily the best show on television right now. The writing is amazing and the performances are bar none some of best I have ever seen. The show is remarkable in that it really attempts to explain the period (the early 1960's) through the character's personalities. The clothing and visuals only enhance what the acting and writing really convey. I dare anyone to sit down with the Season 1 box set and not fly right through the entire season in the same day.

Cocaine is a hell of a drug

2009-07-28T10:47:00.000-04:00

Since this is relatively anonymous, I will discuss some things I have done in the past and occasionally dabble in currently. Its funny cocaine has had a bit of a renaissance in recent years. I have realized that those that use it are much more closeted. The image that is portrayed in the 80's is that people used it like it was nothing, as if it were taking a hit a off a joint. But the contemporary coke head or even recreational user now is careful about who he or she reveals their use. They'll keep it hidden from those around them unless there is an indication that they also use. The social perception of coke has drastically changed over the last 25 years. I mean its privately embraced (a President essentially admitted to using) but publicly its demonized. But cocaine portrayed differently then any other drug. It doesnt fit on any end of the spectrum heroine or crack and then weed on the other end.

The one catch to all of this is that coke users have this superiority complex over those who don't use it. They feel as if they are having this incredible time and that its the coolest thing in the world to do. And I wish I could explain it in a more eloquent way but a real coke head is addicted. A recreational user (aka someone like me who uses it every once in a while) is simply doing something for pure entertainment purposes and the for appearance of fitting in. The actual high is more subtle than overwhelming. Its odd that I noticed other recreational users somehow privately feel superior to those who do not use at all. Too embarrassed to say it out loud, but inside looking down upon them. Just odd.

Blogs

2009-07-27T14:50:00.000-04:00

I find it somewhat uncomfortable that I am doing this. The whole blogging thing can either come off as extraordinarily intelligent or extraordinarily obnoxious. Some people who do this can be extra insightful and others just seem like the most ridiculous people in the world. Lets be honest, regardless of the topic, the average person has no place voicing a broad, uninformed (and mostly subjective) opinion on the world. Who am I to think the world needs to hear my opinion? But I am comforted by the fact that no one actually reads this, so in a sense its an anonymous journal that anyone can read, but no one actually chooses to do so because I am too hesitant to actually attach my real name or draw any attention to it.

Reality TV

2009-07-21T08:39:00.000-04:00

The reality is that television has vastly improved over the last twenty years thanks in part to HBO and other cable networks taking a risk on shows that might not have made it on network TV. I am by no means an expert but its obvious that TV executives have broadened their horizon with respect to certain shows because they know they have to provide some substance and a wider variety of choices. Unfortunately, they have also branched into reality television which is actually something that has regressed since its inception (side note Howard Stern is the creator of reality entertainment, a fact that no one actually gives him credit for). I am the first one to be fascinated by the observations of every day life and normal people. However, things have taken an ugly turn, reality TV has now transitioned into pseudo celebrity reenactments of what producers think people want to see. Enough already, there is absolutely no reason reality TV participants should be considered celebrities!. They shouldn't set trends, they shouldn't be interviewed during the broadcast of the show or after the show is over, they shouldn't become actors and they shouldn't have spin offs from the game shows they were originally on.

Las Vegas

2009-07-17T09:05:00.000-04:00

One of my motivations to start writing was as a result of reading a book called "I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell" by Tucker Max. Now, just as a disclaimer the book is not Catcher in the Rye or some profound piece of literature that can change your life. Actually, a lot of the things in that book are perfect examples of how we as a generation are lacking substance. HOWEVER, Tucker Max is an extraordinarily bright guy and a really gifted writer. The man knows how to tell a story and he especially knows how to write in a style that is extraordinarily descriptive and easily navigated by almost any reader. In a sense, as much as his stories and experiences lack any real substance, he gives them substance by putting them down on paper. He essentially wrote a best selling book (and now its going to be a movie) about his abuse of women and alcohol. In a sense he provided substance in what can only be considered a rather shallow topic. I give him a lot of credit for that. We all have our moments of ridiculousness with girls and booze but he managed to make something of it and he did it really well.

One of this stories involves his first trip to Las Vegas and the decadence that ensued. I am about to travel to Vegas for a second time this August. After my first trip I was somewhat disappointed and enthralled all at the same time. The place is non-stop in that there is always something to do if you feel like letting go. However, when you're sober and you see it for what it is. Its nothing more than a cheap amalgamation and bad imitation of various other cities. There is nothing really tangible in that place, except for the fact that you have all of these distractions (prostitution, gambling, booze, drugs, etc...). Vegas has taken on a prominent role in our generation and I'm starting to think its like one of those movies that gets way too much hype and when people look back, they will look at us and say "Really, that was a huge vacation spot???"

Young Love

2009-07-14T08:27:00.000-04:00

This may just be the rantings of an aging bachelor but as I am closing out on my twenties I have noticed a trend amongst those around me. As I was growing up there was a sentiment that people no longer had to rush to get married and have kids. That notion was a product of the past when women didn't have the same role in society and people just settled down earlier. Well, apparently it isn't a notion of the past because all I see now are women who cross the age of 25 and somehow become fixated on one thing- getting married and having kids. Now of course this isn't universal but popular culture is now reversing itself and steering women and to some degree now- men into believing that settling down and commitment are ideal. And I'm serious, some of my friends or dudes I know from work feel this obligation to settle down.

When did that happen? I thought as we evolve and become more sophisticated we would comprehend that self fulfillment is not achieved through procreation or commitment to another person. Marriage and having kids for the sake of social conformity is the antithesis to what should be a normal evolutionary trend. I thought Kafka and Sartre sorted this out back in the 20's, finding yourself in order to be a better and happier person and not simply looking to God or other social norms in order to feel ordinary.

Smoking

2009-07-13T00:28:00.000-04:00

I am a big fan of that show Mad Men, on AMC, if you want to see what may be one of the best television shows ever made, thats one you should definitely catch. Anyway, one of the cool things about it is that they try and give you a preview of what New York City was like in the early 1960's. The work place is completely discriminatory and these guys seem to work between cigarettes and glasses of scotch. Thats a quick synopsis and doesnt do the actual show justice.

But it brings me to my point. I understand that smoking is bad for you and I understand that it shouldn't be around kids and it shouldn't be in the workplace where you don't have a choice on a daily basis. BUT this has gone too far. Smokers have become social pariahs and there are certain situations where smoking shouldn't be banned. I am fortunate enough to live in Queens, in a certain neighborhood where people are permitted to go to a cafe (mostly outdoor) and smoke a cigarette while I have a beverage. Its an amazingly relaxing thing to be able to do. It should be a matter of choice. If a restaurant or bar wants to allow smoking and the people who frequent these places want to smoke, LET THEM SMOKE.

Artie Lange: Too Fat to Fish

2009-07-08T10:06:00.001-04:00

He is an amazing story teller. I am a big fan of Stern as someone who is extraordinarily honest. Artie Lange is more than honest in this book. He transcends comedy and entertainment with his brutal stories of self destruction. Trust me there are some really funny parts of the book but there are also parts that just have you riveted partially because of the tragedy and the insanity of what he has done. Go buy this book as soon as you can. Celebrities and especially comedians now a days have really lost the edge that they once had back in the 70's. Artie is a throwback and this book is prime evidence of that.

http://www.amazon.com/Too-Fat-Fish-Artie-Lange/dp/0385526563

NYC Lounges

2009-07-06T18:06:00.000-04:00

I remember a time when I was younger, which wasn't that long ago, that I could go out in NYC to a trendy place, spend $200, feel like I got ripped off, meet a girl or two and have some fun. Now your typical night out in NYC involves the following choices:

(1) the regular bar infested with college kids;
(2) the dive bar where no one actually goes (but can be tremendously fun);
(3) the expensive lounge that for any dude requires putting down your credit card and more than likely shelling out at least $800 on the night; or
(4) the expensive lounge that used to be hard to get into but now sucks and will allow a lot more people in.

I realized something, back in 1997/98 when Giuliani took over and "clean up the city", he did something a lot more drastic. He made NYC into a permanent tourist trap. He along with every unrealistic sitcom/drama that took place in NY painted a picture for what I call the tourists. The people that streamed in from Ohio, Texas, California, Michigan and even Minnesota. These kids from all over started pouring in, mostly with their parents money. The smart NYers, whether it be real estate agents and in this case club owners, saw an opportunity. I know bottle service has been around for a long time. But these markups and the way these places have now begun to allow people in, is a relatively recent trend, at least for those mid level places that used to simply leave a line outside the door to make it look like it was good. Now they get all these tourists to pay these exorbitant prices and they make it hard for people who actually know better. And I'm not just talking about the middle state/west coast contingent, I refer to you people in Long Island, Jersey and even Connecticut. Not the bridge and tunnel people, but these amateurs that randomly decide to move into the city.

There is a value to growing up around New York City, not actually growing up in the City but being raised in Queens, Brooklyn or the Bronx. Thats where the real New York is now. Manhattan has become a Disney World. Don't get me wrong, its fun and it still is the most amazing place in the world. But the NYC grit is gone.

Free Radio

2009-07-06T11:17:00.000-04:00

I like music. I'm not one of these people who has an obsession with it but I would like to think my taste is rather eclectic. I can listen to hip hop, I can listen to classic rock and I'll even listen to Greek music due to my cultural background. I have even jammed out to old school freestyle and some Broadway hits. I try not to discriminate or be one of these music snobs that simply hates people because they like pop music. Even I the curmudgeon that I am, like some pop songs.

But I have to say when you turn on the radio in New York, it has become frightening that we have both awful taste and lack of legitimate options. I wont even get into the fact that TOP 40 music now is a crime compared to what was being done 10, 20 and 30 years ago. The fact that you have 5-6 radio stations playing essentially the same 15 songs repetitively is a sign that we are becoming brain dead. Were too lazy to even change the channel when we hear the same song we heard on the other station or on that very same station 20 minutes before. I understand people have Ipods and satellite radio but come on. Free radio is a commercial business and I really have no idea who any of these radio stations are appealing to. I mean even 16 year olds have to have better taste than this.

Insomnia

2009-07-06T01:11:00.000-04:00

There are just some of those nights where you can't get to sleep. Sometimes its because of anxiety and sometimes its just because you aren't tired. Tonight is one of the later. So I decided to do this to try and be productive.

As an introduction I am 28 years old, reside in Queens and by day am an attorney. I also have begun to have a huge distaste for what amounts to my generation and unfortunately what will be my legacy. Not directly but lets say one I have kids and then they have kids, I am extraordinarily embarrassed by what my generation will be remembered for. I know a lot of people say this but I'd like to think my perspective is different just because I am a primary culprit of the absolute shallowness of my piers. I covet material things, I wish on a daily basis that I could find a shortcut to financial success and I often treat relationships without enough respect.

Anyway, I'm not a Debbie-Downer, but I feel sometimes that I need to comment when things are getting carried away. And I do this now through this forum because I can do it anonymously and not worry about anyone actually reading any of this. I am for the most part relatively mellow, however I am often privately alienated from what is generally accepted by my piers.

My first post has to be about Facebook©. And again this a primary example of my hypocrisy because I am a user and I enjoy the thing without acknowledging to others (sort of like 902010). But let me say this, there no better example of the disaster that is my generation than this website. We as a group have to start realizing that we aren't that important and FB is a ghetto attempt at reality entertainment because we all have a secret desire to look in on other peoples' lives. Then add into it that we can share pieces of our life to a broad spectrum of friends and acquaintances and you have the perfect mix for a socially retarded generation that enjoys watching and most of all enjoys being watched. And this is the epitomy of the shallowness of what we have become. We cant handle doing any of these things in person and we can actually convince ourselves that people are actually interested in how we feel about the given work day. None of these people are your friends, in reality your friends are the people who you actually speak to every day.

So here it is, rules with any social networking forum:

1) You should never post serious/sad items/moments of tragedy, eg- family death, recent break up, life threatening diagnosis. Its uncomfortable. In turn no one should ever comment in response to these types of events. Messages of mourning, sympathy or concern should really been done in person or over the phone, rather than in front of your 350 friends.

2) You shouldn't post that you hate work, most people hate work. In fact you should only post if you are having an unbelievably good day at work.

3) Be honest with yourself, if you have a significant other and you make friends with an ex, you really aren't that into the significant other.

4) Random thoughts that are inside jokes, yeah that's just weird that you want the world to see or read that.

5) Weather related posts, yep no point.

6) Flirting, again just odd and more often than not can be misinterpreted.

7) Pictures of yourself when you are younger, fine when posted by someone else, not normal when you do it yourself.

8) Putting together a quiz about yourself for your friends to take- this is not only bizarre but very sad.

This is just a start. I'll add as I see more. And by the way, normal people posting updates on Twitter should be shot in the face. If you are a celebrity, journalist, etc.. its fine, a fantastic medium but otherwise doesn't work.